Here Without You
by JavaJunkieLL4Ever
Summary: She nodded her head, smiling happily as if everything would be okay. But still, with Luke gone, it wouldn’t be. A true Java Junkie story based on what would happen if Luke left. And I'm back with an all new chapter! Sorry for the wait!
1. Chapter 1

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 1- Lorelai (Friday- 4 P.M)

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I was walking down the streets of Stars Hollow, going to the one place that I didn't feel truly alone anymore. Jason and I split up, it was inevitable though. We were too much alike and I didn't love him and see a future with him. Rory has been busy lately, finishing up her first year at Yale and not having enough time to spend with her mother. Sookie has Jackson and Davey, and I am happy for her but it can get boring when all your friends have lives except you. There's something going on with my parents, I think. There not as lovey-dovey anymore, not that they ever really were but they aren't as close. 

So lately I have been spending my time with Luke. Not that that's bad, though, because we're friends. Just friends. Even though I feel a little better now that he finally divorced Nicole. But I wasn't jealous. I swear. Okay, maybe I was, but I deserve to be. I wanted to protect him from getting hurt because he was my friend and it was foreseeable that Nicole was going to hurt him. It's not like I don't know that he is practically the only handsome man in town that is single and I know I have just a little more than friendly feelings but I really need him but maybe someday we could become more than that. Hopefully.

As I started to approach Luke's, I see a sign on the window. That's weird, I thought to myself, Luke never hangs things on his windows. I walked a little closer and I swear I stopped breathing for a second or two.

On the sign was printed in big, messy handwriting '**Closing temporarily as of Sunday. Date reopening- indefinite**'.

Luke never closes. Well, unless he's mad at me, but that was only once. It can't be for that long though. Probably a week or so, even though the sensible part of my mind told me Luke would have Lane or Cesar cover for him if he was only going to be gone that long.

I rushed through the door and the bells jingled loudly overhead. The place was crowded and everyone turned to see my distraught face. Luke looked up and I think that he tensed a little bit in a nervous fashion. As I walked gradually to the counter, the towns' people whispered noisily, probably about what my reaction to the closing thing was going to be.

Once I got to the counter, I nervously looked back at the sign, as if willing it to disappear. I looked back to Luke and gestured to the sign with my head and asked, "What's that all about?" My voice was scared and a little squeaky.

He swallowed nervously and looked down at the counter, averting my gaze. He stayed quiet for a minute and I thought he wasn't going to answer. All of a sudden he slowly raised his head and softly said, "I'm, uh, closing up," Like it was going to answer all my questions.

"For how long?" I asked timidly. I knew it was something I didn't want to hear, but I had to know.

He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, looking around and, again, averting my gaze. "About a year or two." He said after awhile.

I was stunned and I stopped breathing. It was for sure this time, I couldn't breathe. The wind was knocked out me and I was trying to collect my thoughts. Luke, my Luke, was leaving and wasn't going to be back for a year or two? Why? That was my only question at the time.

Once I started breathing regularly I started to talk but my breath got hitched in my throat. I couldn't speak and I know that if this wasn't a serious conversation he would make a remark on how unlikely that was. I felt tears pricking my eyes and I think he noticed all this because the next thing I know is that he was walking from behind the counter, over to me, taking my hand and leading me upstairs.

As soon as we got into his apartment and sat on the couch, I took a deep breath and released it. "Why?" I asked shakily, ignoring the tears that were silently spilling down my face.

He sighed audibly and looked around the room. He finally looked back at me, strait in the eyes. I never noticed how blue they were. Well I have, I just never noticed them completely. As I looked into his eyes I noticed the scared look in his eyes. Finally he released an unsteady breath and started talking. "My, uh, sister, Liz, she's sick. She has cancer and she needs me to be there for her. She lives in Maine so, I have to move there. On Sunday. I don't know how long I'll be there, but she needs me. Even Jess is going to Maine."

I think I was really stunned. His sister had cancer and I could tell he was taking this badly. I know it wasn't fair, he didn't deserve this. I leaned over cautiously to hug him. I hugged him because he shouldn't have to go through this and I wanted to help him though I know I couldn't and I hugged him because I was going to miss him so much.

When he finally relaxed into the hug and put his arms around me, I tightened mine and started to sob. He was leaving and I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. Selfish, I know, but still, I needed Luke to be in my life. Once he was gone I wouldn't have someone to talk to, to rely on, to spend my free time joking with and hanging out with. I never realized how much I appreciated him before. "I am going to miss you, so much." I said, my voice filled with desperation and sadness muffled into his shoulder.

"Right back at ya." He said into my hair and I could feel his chest vibrating against mine and I started to sob again, still relishing the feeling of being in his arms, for maybe one last time.

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Reviews are beautiful things, don't you think?

**Authors Note- I don't know how often I'll update, check out my other story "Just a little Mistake" that I have been working on**


	2. Chapter 2

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 2- Luke (Friday 5 P.M)

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After caressing her back and letting her soak my shirt with her tears for the last forty minutes, I finally pushed her back, gently and carefully, to look her in the eyes. Her make-up was running all down her face and her eyes were puffy and red. I hated seeing her like this. It killed me and I just wanted to hug her close and tell her over and over that it would be okay. But, what did I know? I could come back in two years and she could be married. I felt a twinge of jealously and stopped thinking like that. 

"I'm sorry," She said, breaking the silence and gesturing to my drenched shirt. I could tell she was a little embarrassed.

I smiled weakly and my put hand to her cheek and stroked it lightly. I don't know what came over me to do this but I didn't know if I would ever get a chance to do this to her again. I felt her lean into my touch and I whispered softly, "It's okay."

She sighed sadly and tiredly, I could tell she needed to rest so I pulled my hand back and she looked at me, I could see fear and what I think was love in her eyes. "You look tired."

"I feel emotionally drained."

"You should go home and take a nap, then."

"I should." She told me, then closed her eyes and curled up in a ball on my couch. She wasn't going home. "But I won't."

I grabbed a blanket and threw it over her and she sighed contently. I noticed she was about to move and get up so I lightly stroked her cheek again, willing her to sleep. "Shh,"

"Luke," She whispered ever so lightly I couldn't tell if I imagined it or not. "Don't leave me, please." Her voice was so desperate, my chest tightened in pain for her. I didn't want to leave but I had to. She knew that.

"I won't right now. Right now I'll stay right here and I won't leave. I promise." I whispered soothingly as she moved closer to me and rested her head on my chest. I continued to rub her back as I thought about what my life would be like without Lorelai Gilmore. My conclusion was that it would suck. And I couldn't tell what was worse, losing my best friend or losing the only woman I truly love.

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About an hour later I finally felt her stir. It was weird, having her sleep in my arms, but I felt content, trying not to think about the future, just about her. She looked up and I could tell she was confused about her whereabouts. She looked at me and I watched her as she realized why she was in my apartment, on my couch and in my arms. She looked around and when she didn't find what she was looking for she looked at me and asked groggily, "What time is it?" 

I looked at my watch, "About six."

"Okay," she said slowly, nodding her head.

"So," I said, drawing out the word. I didn't know what else to say. She looked horrible. Not in the sense of ugly though, because she was beautiful, even with her tear-stained face, puffy red eyes, and frizzed up hair. She just looked like she was depressed.

"Do you have to go?" She blurted out, startling me.

I looked at her like she was crazy. "Of course I do."

"Couldn't she come here and you could take care of her here?" She reasoned desperately.

I shook my head sadly, "She has a job up in Maine and I need to help out there."

"I know, I'm sorry, it's just, I don't want you to leave me." She said, her voice cracking at the end of her sentence.

"I don't want to leave you," I told her honestly.

"You're going to miss so much," She told me softly. "The opening of the Dragonfly, Rory's second year of college, the first year of my new business, all the town's crazy festivals, who knows, maybe even Kirk and Lulu's wedding."

"That'd be something," I said, chuckling.

She started to laugh to. God I loved her laugh, I was going to miss her so much. "Yeah, it would be. But I won't see you on holidays, Luke. What am I going to do on Thanksgiving?"

"Eat at your parents, Sookie's and Mrs. Kim's." I answered as if it were obvious.

Apparently it was a rhetorical question because she ignored me, "And who will make me a Santa Burger on Christmas?"

"I only did that once." I interjected.

"And who will fix my house up and bring Bert along? Who will buy my basket at the Bid-a-basket auction when I need someone to? Who will serve me my coffee? Who will lend me $30,000 when I need it? Who will let me cry and then comfort me and tell me it will be okay? Who will be my best friend and talk to me when I need someone to talk to? I need you Luke, so much has happened over the years and I have always needed you. What will I do without you?" She asked, breaking down and crying again.

I pulled her head to my chest and whispered soothing words into her ears while rubbing her back gently. I kissed the top of her head without even thinking then told her in a reassuring voice, "When you need your house fixed up, just call someone. I know I hate it but since I won't be around it might be the next best thing. If you need someone to bid on your basket, just ask Al from Al's pancake world, I heard he has a thing for brunettes." I joked.

"Go to Weston's to get coffee, it might not be as good as mine but it'll do. If you need $30,000 again, which I don't think you will, go to your parents it sounds bad but still. I know it's not something you would do but don't have anything else you'd need to pay so much for so it would have to be an emergency. When you need someone to cry to, try to go to Sookie once in a while. And as far as needing your best friend to talk to and help you out, I'm always a phone call away, okay? I'll give you my number and you can call me whenever you need someone to talk to or if you just want to say hi. I need you too, you know. I always have." I squeezed her shoulders a bit and kissed her head one more time.

"I know. Life just won't be the same," She said to me sadly, pulling back from my embrace and resting back on the couch. "I've always had you. Now Rory has Yale, Sookie has Davey and Jackson, my parents are going through a phase in their life. Now you have Liz and I have no one."

"Listen," I said in a stern yet soft voice, and tilted her chin with my finger to look me in the eye. "You'll always have me, only now I just won't be in the same state. You've always had me and probably always will. Soon enough you'll have your own inn and you'll be going crazy with all the guests' requests and stuff and before you know it, this year will have flown by and hopefully I will have returned by then."

"I know,"

"Good. I'll give you my address and my number so you can send me some pictures or detailed descriptions on the inn and the town and Rory and you, okay?"

She nodded solemnly and took my wrist to check the time. "Shit," I heard her mumble to herself before standing up. I looked at her curiously and she told me, "I have Friday night dinner tonight and I really need to clean myself up." She gestured to her wrinkled up outfit and messed up make-up.

"Ahh," I nodded. I knew she didn't want to go, especially tonight after all the crying she did. I stood up and walked over to the door and she followed me. Right before I got to the door I felt her tap my shoulder. I turned around and she hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around her and whispered it was going to be alright into her hair before she let go.

"Sorry about that."

"It's fine,"

"I know, I just it really hit me that you were leaving and, I don't know."

"I get it."

"Good."

"Good. Ready to go down there?" I asked warily.

"Yeah." She sighed tiredly and laughed softly. I must have made a strange look so she clarified. "Everyone must have thought we were having crazy 'goodbye sex'."

"Geez." I sighed, looking down uncomfortably.

"Well, once they see me looking like this I think they'll understand." She said with a reassuring smile.

"Let's go." I told her, playfully pushing her out the door.

"Well, unless they think that you're so bad in bed that you made me look like this." She said, gesturing to her face.

I sighed, and shoved her harder. "Go, go, get."

She smiled at me and giggled. "I'm going, I'm going." She said playfully and bounced down the stairs and I swear she had a little extra jaunt in her step.

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**Authors Note- I know I said I wouldn't be updating often, but this chapter was written already and the other chapter was off to a slow start, but these are the only chapters I have written so don't expect many updates. **


	3. Chapter 3

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view. (Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 3- Lorelai (Friday- 7:15 P.M)

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I arrived at my Friday night dinner in hell fifteen minutes late. As I set the car into park I rechecked my make-up, my eyes were still puffy and a little swollen so I knew immediately that my mother would be able to tell I was crying. "Damn," I cursed under my breath as I jump out of the car and ran up to the door. My clothes were still a little wrinkled since I didn't have enough time to change after my time with Luke. 

Luke. God, I have to tell Rory. I really don't want to either. I smoothed out skirt and ran a hand through my hair before pressing the doorbell to Hell.

When my mother opened the door, I was looking down so she couldn't notice my face. "You're late," She scolded me and held the door open wider, indicating me to come in. I sighed, even though Friday nights with the Gilmore's were always long, I had a feeling this one would never end.

As I entered the living room, I tried to keep my head down as I said my 'hello's' and gave Rory a hug. "Mom, are you okay?" Rory asked, sounding concerned.

I looked up at her and I noticed her eyes get wider as she saw the condition I was in. "Mom?" She asked, quietly. She looked scared and I wanted to tell her everything was okay, but it wasn't.

I felt four eyes gazing at me but I chose to ignore them. "Rory, can I talk to you out there?" I asked her, gesturing to the foyer. My voice was cracking and I didn't know if I could hold it in.

"Lorelai, is everything okay?" My mother asked me as Rory and I got up. She actually sounded a little concerned.

I looked back at her with a sad smile and shook my head. "No, probably not." She looked confused. My mother has never really seen me break down before and cry. So I think she was scared to come near me.

I gave Rory a little push into the foyer and as soon as we got out there she bombarded me with questions, her voice was filled with worry. "What's wrong? Is everyone okay? Are you okay? What is it?"

"Luke," I managed to put out before she started getting even more worried and asking even more questions.

"Luke? What about him? Is he okay? Is it the diner? Mom, come on! Don't leave me hanging! Tell me!" She was panicked and even though it was funny watching her, I knew I had to tell her.

"He's moving." I said, shrugging my shoulders and waiting for another round of questions.

"Moving?" She asked me, dumbfounded. "But why? Didn't he just break up with Nicole and move out? Is that why? Is she taking the diner in the divorce and making him give it up? God, I never really hated her, but now,"

"You remember Jess' mom, Liz?" I interrupted, trying to remind her that I held the answers, not her imagination.

She nodded still confused, but stayed silent, as if willing me to continue.

I took a deep breath. "She's got cancer." I watched Rory's reaction. Her face was sad, worried, sympathetic and I think still a little confused.

"Oh?" It came out as a question and I took this time to explain the entire story, including my appearance.

"She's got cancer and Luke has to go to Maine to help her get better." I saw Rory's face fall and as I was about to continue, she interrupted me.

"For how long?" She asked, taking a deep breath.

"I was getting to that. He's going to be there for either a year or two. He's not sure. She apparently has a job in Maine and Luke is going to go take care of her until she gets better."

"That explains you appearance." She said wryly, pointing at my wrinkled clothes.

"Yeah," I chuckled in spite of myself. "I arrived, he told me, I broke down, he brought me upstairs and I ended up falling asleep on him." There was a moment of silence as I watched Rory's face change from emotion to emotion.

"It's weird," Rory said quietly, sliding down into a sitting position against the wall. "It just, it doesn't feel normal, almost as if it's surreal. It hasn't sunken in completely. I just, I can't believe it. Luke's going to be gone." She said softly as if to get it into her head. She looked down, her expression blank. After a couple seconds of silence, her head jolted up. "When's he leaving?" She asked quickly. Her breathing intensified when I didn't answer right away. "Mom?" She asked with a panicked look mixed with sadness cross across her face.

I sighed sadly and looked down, willing the tears to stay in my eyes. "Sunday Morning." I whispered softly, so soft that I didn't think she even heard me until I felt her throw her arms around me and bury her face in my shoulder, hot tears seeping into my shirt.

"He can't go. We need him, too. It's not fair. It's not fair." She kept mumbling over and over. I felt tears pulling at the corner of my eyes. My heart breaking at the sight of my daughter, getting this heart broken over a man that has been like a father to her more than anyone else her entire life, and the fact that said man was leaving and we might not see him for another two years.

I wrapped my arms around her tighter and buried my face in her hair, sniffling and sobbing with her together. I kept whispering soothing words, reassuring words, to help her and myself pull our selves together. "I know, sweetie, I know."

The next couple of minutes, or hours, I'm not quite sure, went by as a blur. I recall my mother walking in on us and seeing me and Rory on the floor bawling our eyes out. She came over immediately and tried her best to comfort us, but this was Emily Gilmore, so it didn't go quite well. She kept asking me what was wrong and every time I tried to get a word out of my mouth, she'd ask me another question.

I was silent throughout dinner. I'm not sure if Rory was or not, the whole time I was in another world. I knew that at one point Rory had told them about Luke. That was the only time I snapped out of it completely.

"Luke's leaving." She blurted out into the unwelcome silence, causing my head to snap up from my plate and blank stares from my mom and dad. She started to shift uncomfortably. "That's why we were, um, crying. He's moving to Maine. His sister has cancer."

"Luke's leaving?" My mother asked blankly. "That's why you broke down? Because the diner man won't be around to serve your coffee anymore?"

God, the way she said it made me want to kill her. Luke doesn't just pour my coffee and everyone knew that. "No mom, I broke down because my best friend and Rory's main father figure of eleven years is leaving. We don't know if we'll be seeing him for another two years. He doesn't _just _pour my coffee," I told her irritably. "He's more than that." I said softly, mostly to myself, trying to reassure myself that he knew this, he always had.

"Hmm." She said, probably not even listening to what I said. "Tell him to tell his sister-"

"Liz," I interjected quietly.

"-to get well soon." She finished.

"Okay," Rory said, and that was the only part I clearly remember. I don't know if my dad had any input, I wasn't listening, after that quick conversation I drifted off into thinking about life with Luke and life without him.

As soon as dinner was over me and Rory rushed out the door. "I have a great idea," She started as soon as we got outside.

I acknowledged her to continue and she did. "Remember when I had the chicken pox when I was, like, ten?" I nodded slowly, not knowing anything else to do. "Remember how Luke came over and brought me mashed potatoes?" I, again, nodded, still not knowing what else to say. "And how he ended up staying up with us all night, watching movies on the couch with us to make sure we had everything?" I finally understood where this was going a little and smiled a little to show her I understood. "You think he might want to come over tonight? Watch movies, talk, he can sleep over too, and we'll have him make us breakfast in the morning." Rory asked excitedly. I knew that she was going to miss Luke, a lot.

I smiled. It was a great idea, though. The three of us together. I'm a little surprised we didn't do much of that as Rory got older, but still, it was his real last night in the Hollow and I wanted it to be spent with us. "We'll have to go ask him, won't we?" I asked with a small smile on my face as I retrieved the car keys from my purse. "I'll meet you there, okay?"

She nodded her head, smiling happily as if everything would be okay. But still, with Luke gone, it wouldn't be.

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**Authors Note- I need reviews. I will not update without reviews and I really want to get this story updating more but I need feedback!**

**At least 12 reviews to update next.**

**Next up- Rory and Luke say goodbye **


	4. Chapter 4

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view. (Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 4- Luke (Friday- 9:30 P.M)

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I was in the diner- which was strangely a little busy- probably because it was closing soon, I reminded myself, and my thoughts drifted immediately to Lorelai. She was so broken down today, and it scared me a little. She never breaks down unless she has too much going on in her life and when I tell her I'm leaving she ends up losing it, rambling on about Santa Burgers and Chuppahs. It was a side of her not everyone was able to see, most of the time it was only me, and I was leaving her, I knew Liz was sick, but I couldn't bear to think about what this was doing to Lorelai.

The weird thing was, as I was thinking about her, her and Rory all of a sudden came in with excited smiles on their faces as they rushed up to the counter where I was standing. "Luke!" They kept repeating, as if I wasn't giving them my undivided attention.

"Yeah?" I asked and then watched them get a little nervous; I gave them a look to tell them to continue but instead Rory turned to Lorelai.

"We should have planned this out," She told her, who in turn, nodded eagerly back.

"What is it?" I asked annoyed by their antics but secretly loving it at the same time.

"Well, Luke," Lorelai started but Rory interrupted her talking quickly.

"You remember when I had the chicken pox when I was younger?" She didn't even wait for an answer and continued talking, "Well, you know how you ended sleeping over? We were wondering that if you weren't too busy tonight, if you wanted to, um, you know, have a movie night and a sleepover at our house?" She finished her question, getting more and more quieter and shyer as she went on.

As I contemplated whether or not I should go- I still had to pack up my stuff- Rory and her mom started to stick out the lower lip and pout. And if that wasn't enough, Lorelai started to do the hair flip, the one that drove me crazy while Rory shone her big blue eyes at me. It was obvious I was going. "What time?" I asked as I watched their pouts turn into smiles, and not just any ordinary ones, ecstatic ones that showed off their sparkling white teeth.

"Asap, Luke, the night is half-way over and we need to get on this, pronto." Lorelai told me, as if I should have known this, but when you're with a Gilmore, they expect a lot. Especially food. Lorelai took my pencil and pad of paper from me and wrote down a bunch of food I should bring, like burgers, fries, pie, ect.

"Why all this food? It's only one night?" I asked incredulously as I stared at the list she had just handed me.

"Because, Luke," Rory explained slowly, like she was talking to an eight-year old. "You won't be here anymore and we need to savor the taste tonight."

I sighed, because that actually did make sense. "Fine," I reluctantly agreed. "I'll be there in about a half-hour?" I asked, making sure that'd be long enough for them to set up whatever they were going to do.

Lorelai nodded, "Don't forget your pajama's." She reminded me, still smiling, "And would you mind stopping at Doose's for some marshmallows? Thanks, you're a doll, see ya." She spoke so fast that by the time I realized what she had said, she and her mini-me were already out the door.

So I was spending my real last night in Stars Hollow with the Gilmore Girls. I never would have thought I would be doing that, but then again, I never thought I'd be spending more than a year away from this town.

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As I entered the Gilmore house, with about seven bags of food in my hands, Rory and Lorelai helped me take them away. "Wow," Lorelai commented as she saw all the bags. "Did we really order this much food?" 

I chuckled a little at her awestruck expression. "No, some of this is for tomorrow." I explained, carrying the remaining four bags into the kitchen and setting them on the counter.

"Tomorrow?" Rory asked as she set two of the bags on the kitchen table.

As I started to remove some of the items from the bag and put them in the fridge or cabinet, I explained, "Tomorrow morning you'll be hungry, right?" She nodded. "Then I was thinking I could cook some pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, waffles, you know, the works." Rory watched me in wonder and started to smile as I finished putting the breakfast items away.

"Where's your mom?" I asked her warily, remembering she had one of the bags.

Rory backed up a little and looked into the living room. "Living Room. Grab the food and get in there." She told me and walked away into her bedroom. She then poked her head out and said, "You know, you can use the bathroom upstairs to get changed first, if you want. We're all sleeping in the living room tonight." I nodded and grabbed the sweatpants and t-shirt from my bag and walked upstairs to get changed, passing the living room that looked completely different then always.

The fire place was actually lit- I didn't even know it worked- the couch was pushed back against the back wall and about eight blankets and fifteen pillows covered the floor, along with the contents of the bag Lorelai had brought in- marshmallows, chocolate bars, red vines, and a bag of M&M's. The Tv was in its original spot and there were a bunch of movies sprawled out if front of it, where Lorelai was sitting, dressed in a blue tank-top and grey cotton pants. "What movies you got there?" I asked.

I must have startled her because as soon I spoke, she jumped up and clutched her chest. "Jeez," She exhaled, her breathing heavy. "Don't ever do that!" She said exasperated.

"Sorry," I told her, trying not to smile. "Just wondering what movies we're watching."

She sighed and looked down, "I was thinking Hardbodies, since you never got to finish it, then Dirty Dancing, and then to finish it off, A Walk to Remember, very sad movie. Sound good?" She asked me like she thought I really had a clue what she was saying.

I just shrugged, told her that was fine and that I was going to go get changed.

When I came back down, her and Rory were going through the food I had brought from the diner and sorting it out. "Hey," Rory said, looking up at me.

"Hey," I replied, continuing to descend the stairs and sit on the floor with them. I then looked over at the fire place. "Did that always work?" I asked with a hint of amusement in my voice, pointing over at it.

"Of course!" Lorelai said, trying to act offended. "We just never had a chance to try it out."

"Right," I said slowly. "So what is this night about?" I asked the question that was haunting me since Rory had asked me.

"Well," Rory began slowly, "I guess it was just because we wanted to spend your last night here with you. We're going to miss you, you know." She told me sincerely as I watched a sad smile appear on her face.

"Okay," I told her, sitting down. "So, when will we start the movies?" I asked, trying to break the unbearable silence and focus on the fun aspects of tonight, which according to Lorelai and Rory, are the movies and junk food.

"Right," Lorelai said, focusing back on the movies. "I was just telling Rory the line up for tonight-"

"And I agreed," Rory interrupted, as she settled back on one of the pillows closest to the kitchen hall.

"Yes," Lorelai shot Rory an annoyed look, "She agreed, so I was thinking, we eat our food, a.k.a the diner's food that you brought, during Hardbodies, then the good stuff, the candy you brought us, during Dirty Dancing, and then roast the marshmallows on the fire during A Walk to Remember." Again, she was looking at me as if I had a clue if this was good or not so I just agreed.

"Right." I said, collecting some food by the Tv and bringing it back to where Rory was sitting as Lorelai popped in the first film.

"Now, Luke," she told me as I walked back towards the Tv to get my own food. I looked back at her to see her settling in her spot in the middle, leaning up against the couch. "Bring me my food, please."

I looked at her and smiled. "You get your own food." I told her walking over to my seat next to the fireplace.

She frowned and looked taken aback. "Wh-what? But you got Rory's food for her!" She pouted and I tried to restrain myself from getting up and walking over to where her food was.

I sighed, "Rory was already sitting back here, you simply had to grab it own the way back to the couch." I told her, trying not to look at her and her pouting face and flippy hair.

"Lukey," She started off, and immediately I interrupted her.

"Do not call me that." I told her sternly.

"Will you get my food?" She asked again.

"No," I told her.

"Will you get my food, please?"

"No,"

"Please, will you please, get my food?"

"No," I told her, sounding tired.

"Do you like my hair like this?" She asked in a sweet and flirty voice.

I sighed and got up, walking over to her food and going back over to my spot on the floor. It was obvious that question didn't need an answer.

"Oh, Luke," Rory said, in a voice I could just tell her about to ask me something I didn't want to do.

I looked over at her and just by her face; I could tell that I was right, "What?" I asked, trying not to be annoyed.

"Well," She said, drawing it out. "The remote is still down by the DVD player."

My face turned from annoyance to exhaustion. This was absolutely going to be a long night and I was going to enjoy the whole thing, I just knew it.

* * *

The first movie wasn't that bad, even though both of the girls broke all the rules, but I expected it. Lorelai would add her own monologue and sometimes make comments I'd rather not hear. 

But as we put in the second movie, it got worse. We had a candy fight, (mainly Lorelai and Rory,) I just watched until I finally gave in and pelted Lorelai in the head with an m&m. She tried to act offended, I could tell, her face turned from surprise to hilarity. With the movie forgotten, we ended up having fun instead. We actually seemed like one of those families on a Tv show or a movie.

Now I had never seen 'A Walk to Remember' and as I was putting it in, Rory had explained that it was a sad story. What I didn't expect was when both girls burst into tears and full-on sobbing when the girl died. Lorelai on my left, Rory on my right- don't even ask how I got in the middle because truth be told, I had no clue. But the tears were so much. I mean, I had watched Lorelai cry for an hour earlier, but this, though it wasn't as bad, was crazy. They cried until the movie was over and when it finally ended, they were still sniffling. "God," I sighed in annoyance as I moved over to the spot by the fireplace.

"Sorry, 'bout that," Lorelai told me as she settled down into the covers on the floor. She looked tired and I could tell she was about to fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

"Yeah, sorry," Rory said in a tired voice. "Could you turn off the Tv, Luke?" She asked me as she climbed under the covers and closed her eyes.

"Sure," I told her softly as I began to search for the remote. Once I found it, the Tv flickered off and the only light in the room was the fire place, glowing softly. I knew I didn't need to put it out, it was already dimly lit, so I left it as it was.

"'Night Luke," Rory mumbled groggily, already starting to fall asleep.

"Night Rory," I said as I settled under the covers. As soon I put my head on the pillow, Lorelai threw her arm over my chest and buried her face in my shoulder. I was obviously surprised, but she was either asleep or just didn't bother to pay attention to my reaction.

"Night Luke," I heard her murmur into my shoulder as she tugged on me closer to her body.

I relaxed as soon as I heard the words come out of her mouth and rested an arm over her waist. I shifted down a little so my head was near hers and whispered into her ear, "Night Lorelai,"

I have to admit, that night was fun, now I wouldn't use that word per say, but, hey. From what I know, the Gilmore Girls Movie Night was just the two of them, and, I don't know, I guess I feel a little honored to be included. I'm glad they invited me. And now with Lorelai in my arms, her chest pressed against my side, I really didn't want to leave. I never got my chance to be with her, really be with her. It sucks, but I wasn't going to let the sadness overcome me, I was going to enjoy the one night I had with her, so I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. Eventually.

* * *

The next morning, I woke to the rays of the sun streaming in and as I tried to sit up and look around the room to recall where I was, I was pulled back down by the weight of something, or more like someone. I looked down and there was Lorelai, completely out of it with an arm thrown over my chest, her face nestled into the crook of my neck and one leg sprawled over my body. I checked the clock that was on the VCR and it read, '7:30'. It wasn't much of a surprise to see her still asleep. 

I strained my neck to look over and see if Rory was still asleep, but she wasn't there. It was weird because I never thought that she would get up by 7:30. I then heard some shuffling around and saw her coming out of her room. "Hey," She said to me as she noticed I was up.

"Hey," I sad awkwardly, I mean, her mother was practically on top of me, it had to be awkward. "I didn't think you'd be up," I said to fill the silence.

I noticed she was trying not to laugh as she watched me squirm underneath Lorelai, trying to untangle my self and get up, but she wouldn't let me go. "Yeah, I have an early class at 11 this morning so," She let the sentence trail off.

"Hey," I said to get her attention, "Why don't I get her off me and then I'll cook you some breakfast before you leave while you wake her up to eat, and don't let her complain, make her get up."

To this, Rory nodded eagerly, "My last time eating Luke's breakfast," I heard her mumble as we both tried to shift Lorelai onto the floor next to me.

It was a tough job considering the fact that she wouldn't let go of me. "No, Luke, come back to bed," she kept mumbling over and over until finally she was off me and Rory was trying to shake her awake. I watched with a smile slowly appearing on my face as she kept repeating those words.

"Mom," Rory said, getting a little aggravated when Lorelai wouldn't get up. Rory looked back at me with pleading eyes, "Please get her up," Her tone was so desperate that I helped her automatically.

"Go start some coffee for her," I told Rory as I knelt down next to Lorelai.

"But your coffee's better," She whined. I looked back at her, more like glared.

"Fine," She said reluctantly, "I'll go get dressed instead." I noticed her pout and I could tell she was just kidding around to aggravate me, just like her mother.

"Lorelai," I said whispering softly into her ear. My lips were only millimeters away from her ear. I looked back at her face to see if there was any reaction appearing on her face and the only thing I could see was a soft smile, not one that you could tell she was just doing this as a joke, one that she wore when she was asleep or daydreaming. "Lorelai," I said a little louder, this time nudging her arm.

"Too early," She mumbled as she flopped over onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow to shield her eyes from the light that was shining in. "Come back to bed, hon," She mumbled into the pillow and mindlessly patted the spot on the floor next to her, "I'm cold,"

I sighed; this was obviously going to be a difficult task. "Come, here," I whispered as I tried to sit her up so that she'd wake up and adjust to the light.

"No," I heard her groan as I pulled her up. Her face got scrunched up in an annoyed look as she vigorously tried to swat my arms away. Once I finally pulled her up into a sitting position on the couch itself, she opened her eyes and looked around, confused. "Where am I?" She asked me groggily, her eyes still squinted due to the sun coming in through the window.

"In your living room," I told her slowly, trying not to let my amusement show.

"Why are you here, then?" She asked me puzzled, her forehead wrinkling up in thought.

Again, I spoke slowly, "I slept over, Rory's in the other room getting dressed, she has an early class. We wanted to wake you up for breakfast." I informed her.

She slowly took this in. It was like she was a freakin' seven year old. God, she can be really slow in the morning. "Are you leaving tomorrow?" She asked bluntly, her eyebrows knitting together in a questionable manner.

I realized she must have thought all this to be a dream. I nodded solemnly. I watched her face fall and her take a deep breath and mutter, "Right," under her breath.

To get her mind off this I grabbed her hand and stood up, pulling her up with me. She looked at me, surprise evident in her eyes. "Let's go have some breakfast." I told her, dropping her hand. I thought she didn't have to know what position she was in when she woke up because with that and all the crazy things she was mumbling; she would have been embarrassed completely.

* * *

Breakfast went by quickly. The subject of me leaving was avoided completely, most likely to keep a happy mood amongst the three of us. We talked about Rory's finals and Lorelai's inn, most of the topics that I'd heard about a hundred times yet I still loved to listen to them talk about because they both get this happy smile on their faces, one that shows pride and complete content. Before long, though, Rory had to leave, that meant I had to say goodbye, something I was dreading to do. 

"Bye, mom." I heard her say before turning to me. "Um, Luke," Her voice had gone to cheerfulness to sadness and nervousness, "Can we talk? On the porch?" She asked me, motioning towards the door.

I nodded silently and let her lead the way. I really wish I didn't have to leave her. She was like the daughter I never had. I wish that I didn't have to say goodbye, because that would mean I didn't have to leave.

Once we got outside we stood in the silence, as if daring the other to speak. "So, this is it," She finally said awkwardly, rocking back and forth on her heels and grasping and wringing her hands together.

"This is it," I whispered. I saw a tear slip down her cheek and I reached out and wiped it away.

"I'm going to miss you, Luke," She whispered, so softly I barely heard her against the slight breeze. She threw her arms around me and buried her face in my neck as a round of tears swept through her system. "It's not fair, it's just not fair." I rubbed her back soothingly, the same way I had done to her mother just the day before and whispered reassuring words into her hair, though there weren't many to be said.

She took a step back and looked up at me a couple minutes later. "I just," She started out, but paused, trying to even out her breathing, "I want you to know that I always though of you as my father. You were always there, taking care of me and mom. It won't be the same. I know I never really said thank-you before because I, well, I guess I just expected it to happen but," She hiccupped, and the tears started to flow silently down her cheeks. "Thank-you, Luke, for everything you've ever done for me and my mom." She said it so gratefully it was amazing that a nineteen year old could sound that appreciative and mature. But then again, this was Rory who was talking.

"You don't have to thank me," I told her softly as I felt tears forming in my own eyes. "I've always thought of you as my daughter and I would do anything for you and your mom. You two have been the main reasons I got up in the morning for the longest time."

She dragged me over to the steps and sat down, pulling me next to her and rested her head on my shoulder, hugging my forearm with both of hers. "You know," She said softly, "When I was younger I always thought that if Mom should date someone, it should be you. You were the constant man in our lives that we needed, it was nice. Like once, I think I was eleven, on my birthday I wished that you and Mom would get married and we'd all stay in Stars Hollow and be a family. It's not that I regret not having that, I love me and my mom's relationship, it's just, sometimes part of me wants that. That family type of relationship, just not with my real dad, with you."

I was shocked; Rory wanted me to date her mom? Let alone date, but get married? God, if she would have told me that ten years ago, I would have done it in a heart beat. I just didn't know how it would affect her and her mom. And it mattered if Lorelai really wanted it, too, though. "I'm sorry," I told her quietly.

Her head snapped up and her expression was puzzled. "For what?"

"For not being able to give you the family you've always wanted, for leaving." I added as an afterthought. I couldn't bear to think that the tears cascading down her face were my fault, that I was the reason they were there. "I wish I could have given you that." My voice was barely audible and I wondered if she had even heard me.

She must've because she began to talk quickly in a reassuring tone. "No, Luke, don't be." She told me. "As much as I wanted that, I still had you in my life for good. There were no chances of you and my mom splitting up and me not being able to see you. I appreciate all you've done for me Luke. Just, don't be sorry."

I nodded and looked down at her. "You know, with me gone, your mom will probably get a little more lonely. I mean ever since you went off to Yale, she's been coming in more, so be expecting more calls." I told her with slight amusement in my voice, trying to stop her tears and make her smile.

"Really?" She asked in a tone that held uncertainty. "I guess you'll just have to give her your number, you know, to even out the phone bills." She added with a small laugh.

I was glad the topics were getting lighter; I chuckled a bit with her, enjoying her smile that I wouldn't see for such a long time. "Yeah," A silence filled the air, but this one wasn't uncomfortable, it was just one that held memories and loving, father-daughter feelings towards each other.

She looked at her watch, "I have to, um, get going." She said slowly. I got up and grabbed her hand, gently pulling her up into a hug. "Bye, Luke," She whispered almost inaudibly into my ear. The tears were streaming down her face again, hot and wet when they hit my skin as she buried her face into the crook of my neck. "Make sure you give mom your number and address, just incase." She told me as she pulled back, sadly walking over to her car and waving slightly.

"Bye, Rory." I whispered softly. I had known this amazing girl for about eleven years, I watched her grow up, graduate, move into a dorm, I thought about her future sometimes, like where should would be in ten years or so. And as she got into her car to leave, I realized that this was one of the things I never thought would happen: Me leaving the Gilmore's.

* * *

**Authors Note- Okay, I need at least, 18 reviews of the story total before I update next. So tell people to read this, please.**

**Authors Note 2- I don't know if I have Luke down completely. I need advice and comments. **

**Review Please. It's only a click away. **


	5. Chapter 5

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view. (Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

* * *

Chapter 5- Lorelai (Saturday 10 A.M)

* * *

A couple minutes after I heard Rory's car leave the driveway, Luke still hadn't come in. I knew he hadn't left, his stuff was still here and I was starting to get worried. I quietly walked to the front door and silently opened the door not to disturb him. There he was, sitting on the steps staring off into space with a blank expression. 

I walked over to him and sat down with out saying a word. We continued to stare out at the yard in silence until he broke it. "Hey," His voice was thick and full of emotion I could tell he was having a hard time saying goodbye to Rory.

"How you holding up?" I asked sympathetically, leaning my head to rest on his shoulder, trying to show support.

"I am really going to miss her. It just sucked having to say goodbye. I mean, when I finally come back in a year or two, she'll probably be different, not the girl I watched grow up and I don't want to miss it." God, I didn't expect that, he was a guy that usually held his feelings in and now he was pouring his heart out to me and I felt my heart break. He had helped me get through so much before; I had to be there for him.

"You won't miss much, you two will keep in touch and if not, I'll tell you all about her when we talk, it will be like you weren't even gone by the time you get back, you'll see." I tried to be reassuring, because it was true, we'd keep in touch and he wouldn't miss out on much. "Why don't we go inside and watch Tv? It'll help get your mind off things."

"Nah, I've got to pack. Leaving early tomorrow morning so I don't have much time left here, sorry." I watched as he got up and ran a hand through his capless head. "I'm just going to grab my stuff and go; do you need any help cleaning up?"

I shook my head and began to get up as Luke held his hand out to me. I gladly accepted it and he pulled me up to my feet.

"Why don't I help you pack?" I asked once we were inside and he was gathering his things. He looked up at me surprised, probably not expecting it but I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him before he left.

"Really?" He asked me, throwing his bag over his shoulder. "You want to help me pack?"

"Well, yeah, I wouldn't mind." I really wanted to help Luke, and maybe take a look at all his thing he might have saved from his childhood. It could be fun.

"Okay," He said slowly, a small grin appearing on his face. "You wanna change?" He asked, gesturing to my pajamas.

"Right, I'll do that, you stay here and wait for me, okay?" I asked him, starting to walk up the stairs. He nodded and I rushed up the stairs, eager to spend my day with Luke, though it would be my last. For only a while, though, I reminded myself.

* * *

We had been packing things in boxes- there had to be about thirty- for about an hour with a comfortable silence amongst us with the occasional talk about old items that either he or I would find. While I was going through his closet, I noticed a bunch of pictures from not that long ago. Some were of him and a younger and Rory, some of all three of us. I grabbed the stack and realized that there were only about nine or ten. "Luke?" I called out, he said hat he was going to pack up his clothes. 

"What?" He asked absentmindedly, I heard him continue to sort through his clothes as I called out his name again. "What?" He asked, now more focused and I heard his footsteps getting closer and soon enough he was leaning in next to me, peering at the pictures.

"Where are these from?" I asked ask I flipped through them.

"Oh," He said quietly as he kneeled down beside me and taking half of the stack that I handed him. "Wow, I forgot all about these," He continued to focus intently at each picture, as if he needed to memorize every detail.

A small smile grew on my face as I saw one of me and Luke a one of he firelight festivals that must have been taken eight or nine years ago. "Where'd you get these?"

"They're old, I don't really remember. I know a couple of them were taken by Kirk from when he tried to start his own photography business, but I don know about the rest."

"I think my favorite is this one," I said as I handed him the one of me and him sitting in the gazebo with Rory sitting on the floor. Luke's arm was around my waist in a way that if a stranger saw it they'd probably think we were an actual family. "Can I keep a couple?" I asked, looking back at the picture, it was almost as if I were back there, in that memory, but now, it was just in the past, nothing more than a memory.

"Sure, just make sure you leave me a couple." He told me as he got up to go back to his dresser full of clothes. "And Lorelai," He said in a more serious tone. I looked up at him with eyes filled of curiosity. "You look beautiful in that picture."

I felt my cheeks flush and I instinctively looked down, feeling self-conscious. "Thanks," I whispered because my voice was so small I couldn't raise it at all.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon continued like this, occasionally calling each other over to reminisce about old things and memories. There was a lot of laughing and occasionally some tears along with some stolen glances and at one point I swear I saw him checking out my ass. But in a subtle way. By the time we finished packing his stuff, it was already 5. "So, that's it." He said to me as he finished taping up his final box. 

"That's it." I agreed, thinking that it wasn't just the final box we were taping up, but also some of our final memories.

"Wanna head downstairs and have some dinner? I have to check on the diner for a bit."

"Of course!" I exclaimed. "When have I ever turned down free food?"

He looked at me in a way that says, 'Like hell,'

I pouted my famous pout that had always got him to do anything for me. "Please?" I asked in a sweet voice.

He sighed and began to usher me out the door. "We'll see,"

Once we were downstairs, I carefully looked around, trying to memorize every detail. It would be a while before I came back here and I began to wonder if when he came back, he'd keep it the same, or even open it back up. "Hey Luke," I called out, my voice suddenly a little nervous, as he walked by with the coffee pot in his hands making the rounds.

"Yeah," He asked, walking back towards the counter where I was seated and refilling my cup.

"When you get back, are you going to open the diner back up?"

"Well, yeah, probably, why?" He asked with a small chuckle, probably wondering how half the things I say end up in my mind.

"No reason, it's just, you are going to come back, right?" My voice was filled with nervousness completely and my heart raced with anticipation for his answer. Before he responded, I began o blurt out even more things, though, uncontrollably. "Like, what you meet some woman there and end up getting married and living there and then one day you'll come back to sell the diner for money to pay for your kid's tuition for school and you'll stumble upon little old me and you won even remember me and I'll be all alone?" I took a deep breath, trying to control myself.

"What?" Luke asked me, surprised. "Listen," He said firmly. "I am coming back no matter what, and most likely I will no be married when I return. I've already been through that, marriage sucks, no point going through I again. And what about you, who's to say you won't get married while I'm gone and then you end up moving?"

I paused for a couple seconds to think hen finally came up with a conclusion. "Listen, I bet you that by the time you get back, I'll still be living here and most likely not married. I'll still be the spinster lady you've learned to love the past years," I ended dramatically, because it's what I do.

"Right," He said slowly, most likely no listening to what I had just said. "You're food will be out in a minute."

* * *

We were finally the only ones left in the diner and it was only 8:30. "I think," I said, my breath catching in my throat. "I think I should get going." I could feel the tears begin to form in my eyes and my stomach twitch in a sad feeling. 

"Right," Luke mumbled, getting up from his seat next to me.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow morning?" I asked, hoping to be able to catch a final glimpse of him before he left.

"Early. 4:30 in the morning early." He answered. I watched as his face turned into sadness, sort of like the one he was wearing when I saw him outside after Rory had left, but only this one held a bit of regret. Regret for what, I didn't know.

"Wow," I said, barely managing to get the words past the lump forming in my throat. "Can I have the number? And address? Please?" My voice was in a desperate tone that I hated using because it made me feel helpless, like I couldn't do anything but sit back and watch as he left me.

"Yeah, hold on," I watched as he went behind the counter and pulled out a pen and piece of paper, scribbling down a bunch of letters and numbers. "There's my cell, he house I am staying at and the address all written down. Don't hesitate to call." He stated in a firm voice as he handed the paper over to me.

I looked at the paper quizzically. "You have a cell phone?"

"I just got it, for emergencies."

"Right," I said with a sad smile and small chuckle. "And before you do anything, I want you to call me once you get there, okay?" I said, trying to be firm but my voice cracking in the middle of my sentence.

Apparently there were tears streaming silently down my face because Luke came over to me from behind the counter and cupped my face in his hands, wiping the tears off with his thumbs gently as I leaned into his touch. "Shh," He said soothingly. "Don't cry, okay?"

"How do you expect me not to cry when my best friend is leaving and I won't be seeing him for over a year?" I asked, choking on a sob as my knees went weak and I fell into his arms completely, burying my face in his chest as he wrapped his strong, comforting arms around me.

He continued to do this for a while, gently rocking us back and forth and rubbing his hands up and down my back, one occasionally raking though my hair. He would murmur soft words into my neck, sometimes letting his lips graze my ear when he would move his head on top of mine, causing me to shiver involuntarily.

After about ten minutes- or maybe and hour, I would never know- I pulled back slowly, allowing his arms to stay encircled around my body. I looked up at his face and took it how emotional he looked. He didn't exactly look like he was going to cry, but it held so much sadness and grief that it made my stomach twinge. "What's with the face?" I asked softly, vaguely aware of my hands caressing his cheek.

"What? You expect me not to get emotional when I am about to leave my best friend for at least a year?" He shot back with a sad smile. I let out a half-laugh-half-sob, still trying to make the tears flowing silently disappear.

I imprecisely remember what happened next, though it had been the most mind-blowing experience I have ever had. Luke had leaned into me, his lips growing closer and his hot breath meeting mine.

Then, he kissed me. Lips brushing over each other a first, then there was more need, more want, more desire added slowly until our tongues were grazing each others in a sweet and sensual matter. Before long, I was suffering from lack of oxygen and had to pull back slowly and as our lips detached, I felt like I wasn't whole, like while I had Luke, I was completed, as cheesy as it sounds.

"Wow," I breathed out, full of excitement, all thoughts of Luke leaving lost from my mind and the only thing I could focus on was his lips. And the way he held me while we kissed, and how my skin burned with desire as he gently touched me.

"Yeah," He agreed quietly, letting his arms loosen around me, causing coldness throughout my body. I wanted to tell him to put them back, but this time tighter, to bring me upstairs and allow him to have his way with me, to let him hold me as we fell asleep, but I didn't'

What I did do was much more crazier than that. I quickly drew back out his arms completely and did all I could to avoid his gaze as I grabbed my coat and purse off the counter. I could feel his stare burning into me and as I tried not to rush completely to the door. When I reached it, I looked back at his face, now full of confusion, hurt and sadness. But no longer the regret I had seen earlier. "Don't forget to call," I reminded him hastily as I slipped out the door into the cold spring air, vaguely hearing him call my name.

I stopped soon after passing Doose's and leaned my back against the wall, slowly sliding down. Luke and I had just kissed, it was amazing, and for some reason I could not quite comprehend, I ran. I buried my face in my hands, trying to clear the frustration clouding it, and felt wetness. "Great," I mumbled, I was crying again. But as I tried to clear my head I distinctly remembered Luke mumbling something after we kissed, but before I had bolted. I don't know how I had missed it, but it was a simple phrase. Three words, that's it. I love you. And I didn't get to say it back.

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**Authors Note-** Okay, I loved the encouragement in the reviews. Hope for more his chapter. I know it was slow a first, but I didn't know what to write.

**Authors Note 2-** If you notice any words without a 'T', I'll let you know that my 't' on my keyboard isn't working that well, sorry.


	6. Chapter 6

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view. (Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

* * *

Chapter 6- Luke (Sunday May 2nd 1:20 P.M)

* * *

After a spending a night waiting for her to return, she never returned and I gave up the thought that she might actually come back and try to sort things out for once, but then again this was typical Lorelai, she always ran away from things. I even stayed in the diner for about a half-hour longer than scheduled to see if she'd show up and tell me that it was a mistake for her to run, that she wanted to be with me, that that kiss had meant something, but then again, this was typical Lorelai, she always ran away from things. 

Now I had just reached the place where I was staying with Liz and Jess. So far Jess hadn't showed up and it was just Liz and I, she seemed so unbothered when I said hello, like this was just a family trip that I was just taking for fun. Now she was watching Tv on the couch eating popcorn while I began to unpack.

It was when I finally finished unpacking my first of three boxes when I found them, the pictures of me, Lorelai, and Rory. I suddenly remembered my promise to Lorelai, that I would call once I arrived in Maine and tell her everything was going fine. I wasn't sure what to do considering the way we parted the night before. Should I call her or not? It was like my brain was playing an ongoing game of tennis, trying to reason out the correct choice.

When I caught sight of her in the picture, laughing while Rory tackled her in the last bit of snow on the ground, I made my decision. I had to call her, to hear her voice, and let her bring up the topic of last night if she wished to talk about it. If not, then eventually we would talk about it, I was sure of it.

I quickly dialed the familiar number I had memorized years ago and proceeded to wait for her to pick up the phone. After two rings she picked up, out of breath, probably due to the fact that her phone is always hidden in the most strangest of places. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me,"

"Oh," She sounded a bit surprised, probably expecting me to not call or something. "Hi,"

There was a somewhat awkward silence that I quickly tried to fill to keep the conversation as normal as possible. "Yeah, you wanted me to call you when I got here, in Maine." I reminded her in a tone that I tried to ease out all nervousness.

"Right, sorry I forgot." I heard her take a deep breath and about to ask something, but she stopped abruptly. "So, how is it, there?" She asked a couple seconds later.

"It's nice, sort of like Connecticut only a lot more woodland areas. Liz is doing fine, too. I am actually surprised by how well she looks, considering the fact that she said I needed to get here as soon as possible."

"Oh, has Jess arrived yet?"

"Nah, he said he'll be up on Monday or Tuesday, he said he has some type of job to sort out in New York before he got here."

"Oh, well at least he's coming. What ever happened to that guy Liz brought with her to Stars Hollow a couple months ago? AJ? PJ?"

"TJ, and they broke up, but it was bound to happen, that's how all of Liz's relationships are, never working out, always with the biggest ass-holes."

"That must suck, never finding that one person who gets you completely but you keep thinking you find them when they just end up hurting you or you hurting them." Her voice was quieting, in an almost saddened tone that I hated to hear from her.

"Yeah," I agreed quietly. I quickly noted in my mind that I understood her completely, always knowing just how to deal with her, and could and would support her in any way I could. There was a long silence as we both sat in out own thoughts. "So, the inn, I haven't had time to ask lately, how's it coming along?"

"It's coming along great," Her voice filled with pride and adoration. "Thanks to you. Without you we wouldn't have been able to open in three weeks. We only have a couple last minute things to do and then not this weekend but the following is the test-run, which I hope will run smoothly."

"It will," I told her in a reassuring tone. "And I promise that if I get the chance, I'll do my best to make it to either the opening or the test-run, but it depends on Liz's schedule." I really wanted to go and see her dream finally come true, it had to be amazing.

"Really?" She asked in a soft tone. "It's okay if you can't but if you have time you definitely should stop by. Preferably the opening but I'll take what I can get,"

"Why the opening?"

"You'll just have to come and see or wait for me to call and tell you about it once it's over."

"Alright then, I'll do my best but I have to get going, Liz is calling me downstairs. God, I am telling you, this next year is going to be a nightmare. She isn't even that sick and she already has me fulfilling her every need."

"Bye, Luke," She said and I could just tell she was smiling the same smile from the picture I had now propped up against an alarm clock on the table next to my bed. Only this time, I wasn't able to see it.

"Goodbye, Lorelai," I hung up the phone, tossing it on the bed and trudged down the stairs to see what Liz wanted me to do now. As I walked down the stairs I contemplated the phone call with Lorelai. She did seem like she wanted to talk about the kiss but was too afraid to speak first and risk losing the communication. But it was okay, for now, because it was like an unspoken code, we only had to talk about it if it was necessary.

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Authors Note-** Okay, it was short, but don't expect a lot of long chapters lately. This will be the normal length of a chapter from now on. **

**Authors Note 2****- I started to add the date and if it doesn't go along with the show's timeline, then too bad, my story, my date.**

**If you click the button in the south west corner of the page that says 'Go', a box will pop up. Write encouraging words in it along with checking off the small box that says '**** Add story to my Favorite Stories list' and press the wide button that says, 'Submit Review' **


	7. Chapter 7

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view. (Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 7- Lorelai (Saturday May 15th 10:45 P.M-Test-Run)

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I had just gotten back to the inn. I was at the house to grab some band-aids because as I was coming out of the dining room to get away from Digger, who had been chasing me around, begging me to be with him again, Kirk came running down the stairs, naked. I hurried up to get Jackson to go catch him while Sookie and I searched for band-aids. Once we couldn't find any, I volunteered to run home and get some. And a camera, because everything involving Kirk needs a camera. 

That's when it happened. Well, probably not exactly when it happened, but when I realized what had happened. Rory slept with Dean. I don't know why, I thought she was over him, she chose Jess. But apparently she wasn't. She even told me she hated me when I tried to talk to her, comfort her, she just wouldn't listen. He was married.

I quickly slipped up the stairs past the minor commotion and into my room, number 7, locking the door behind me for privacy reasons. Then I contemplated on what to do. I assumed Jason was gone and that eventually everything would die down downstairs and I could just tell Sookie that Rory wasn't feeling well, and I offered to stay with her and by the time I got back everyone was asleep. Perfect.

I laid on my bed, my thoughts everywhere. Rory wasn't my baby anymore. She was an adult. An adult that needed to lead how to make the right decisions. She actually said that she hated me. Not ever did I think those words would leave her mouth and be aimed at me. It really hurt to hear her say those things to me.

I needed someone to talk to, badly. Rory was obviously out of the question. Sookie, well I just didn't feel right talking to her, and she had Jackson with her. I never really wished I had someone to share a life with, to depend on, but now, I wished that I had someone who could hold me close and comfort me.

With that thought I grabbed my purse off the floor and dug through it for my cell phone. I had recently set his number on speed dial on both the house phone and my cell phone. Number 4 for his cell phone and 5 for his house. I pressed 4, then send, and waited for him to pick up.

"Lorelai?" He asked, as if he was waiting for my call.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked confused and surprised, he couldn't be a mind reader, could he?

"Who else knows my number?" He asked. I stayed silent, pretending to think this over. "Exactly," He said dryly. "Any reason for the call?"

I felt my breath catch in my throat and I couldn't form any words. My thoughts were blurred and soon so were my eyes. "I-"

"Lorelai, are you okay?" His voice worried and dripping with concern.

"I just-" I could feel the tears wetting my cheeks and I furiously wiped at them. "I don't know what I did wrong." My voice was so small and I hated feeling so broken, especially in front of other people. But it was different with Luke.

"What did you do wrong?" He asked even more worried.

"I screwed up somewhere along the line. Now she hates me. She told me she hates me." I knew I was being vague, but I didn't now what I could say over the phone that someone in the hall might hear. "Now I'm all alone. She'll never talk to me again and I'll have to get cats to live with because she won't come back." I sobbed, knowing that I was stretching the truth but, I really didn't care. I was breaking down on the phone to a guy that moved about 300 miles away.

"You know what?" Luke asked me firmly, and not even giving me enough time to answer. "Give me 4 and a half hours okay?"

I was so confused as I heard him say this. "What?" I asked softly.

He apparently wasn't listening to me as I heard him rustling around in the background. "Where are you? At home? Oh, wait tonight's the test-run, right? So you're there?" He paused and I assumed he wanted an answer this time.

"Yes," I said slowly, still trying to understand where he was taking this conversation.

"Good, and room number?" He asked expectantly as he continued to move around on the other line.

"Wait, why?" I asked as my tears started to subside for a moment and confusion came over me.

"Because," He explained slowly, "You need me and I am not going to let you down. I promised myself I would always be there for you and even if I had to drive over 250 miles, I will, okay? Now, what room number?"

I was completely amazed with this man. I was so stunned I couldn't even speak. He was willing to drive about 4 and a half hours just to make sure I was okay. I knew it was selfish but I longed to have his strong arms wrapped around me again, soothing words coming out of his mouth muffled in my hair. "No Luke you can't-" I started to protest weakly but apparently he wasn't going for it.

"Room Number, now, or else I'll be knocking on every door here and waking everyone up." His voice was stern, yet comforting.

"Seven," I replied meekly, still feeling bad for making him come all the way to Stars Hollow. "Luke you don't have-"

I was cut off, his voice was rushed and I could tell he was looking for something in his room. "Seven, got it. Keep the door unlocked and try to get some sleep. I'll be there soon." And then he hung up.

I felt guilty for calling him, making him feel obligated to come and comfort me. He didn't have to, I wasn't some wife or girlfriend that he needed to sooth. I was just an old friend from a town he had left unwillingly.

For a second I forgot why he was coming. Then I remembered. Rory. Dean. Unmade bed. How the hell was I going to explain it to him? The tears came back on and I quickly got up and unlocked the door, then fell back on the bed, letting tears cascade down my cheeks as I clutched a pillow to my chest, wondering where I had gone wrong with Rory. She knew better. I thought I had taught her that.

* * *

I don't know when but around three thirty a.m. I awoke suddenly, feeling that nagging feeling that someone was watching me. I sat up and there was Luke, asleep, in a chair that was pulled close to the bed, probably if I needed him. I had to laugh a little. He looked so uncomfortable and tired, all because of me. Even though I knew it would be awkward in the morning, I slowly got up and walked over to his chair, nudging his slightly. "Luke," I whispered quietly. 

He groaned and tried to shift in his seat but was unable to. "Go away," He grumbled. I stifled a chuckle and shoved him this side, adding more force. He shifted in his seat and sat up slowly, looking around the room, trying to identify where he was. He noticed me and his eye widened in acknowledgment. "Are you okay?" He asked bluntly, getting up and brushing my damp, make-up streaked cheeks with his thumbs.

"I don't know," I said, totally unsure if I was okay. I let him lead me over to the bed and sit me down.

"What's going on?" He asked soothingly, getting up and walking over to the dresser.

"What are you doing?" I asked, ignoring his questions and watching him open up the top drawer, pulling out a pair of pajamas. I was confused. "How'd you know where they..." I trailed off; gesturing to the tank top and sweatpants he dropped on my lap.

"Please," He said as if it were obvious. "I've been around you long enough to know how you organize your things."

"Wow," I said amazed as he pulled me up, my pajamas in my hands and steered me into the bathroom.

"I know, it's sad." He said, rolling his eyes. "Get dressed and we'll talk." He shut the door and allowed me to get dressed. The whole time I was wondering what the hell was going on. He was supposed to be gone but then he comes back the second he hears me crying? I was grateful, completely grateful, but I just wondered why he had to leave. I needed him.

I walked back in the room with a fresh batch of tears flowing silently down my cheeks due to my Luke thoughts. And a little Rory, but I didn't want to think about her. My breath was hitching as I tried to breathe in and immediately he noticed. "What is it?" He asked as I sat down on the bed and settled down under the covers.

"Rory," I said with a shaky voice. He sat next to me pulling my sobbing head into his chest, stroking my hair. I knew he was worried about Rory. It was the way he tensed up at her name and had that concerned father-esque look on his face. He was going to wait for me to continue, not push me; it was just something I knew about him.

I knew that Rory wouldn't want me telling him this but I had to. I needed to talk to someone about it, someone that I trusted and that was Luke. "Rory and Dean." I said trying to form sentences and make the sobbing subside. Luke was really tense and I could tell he would probably go and kill Dean with his bare hands once I told him.

He put his arm around my shoulder and brought his lips to my ear, his hot breath sending chills up my spine. But they were the good ones. "Do I have to kill him?"

I smiled ruefully and shook my head. "They, um, they slept together." I said uncomfortably. When I woke up this morning- more like yesterday morning- I never would have thought I would be talking about my daughter's sex life with my best friend.

He pulled back quickly. "They what?" He asked in an incredulous voice, then quieted down, "They what?" He asked softer.

"I don't know, I went home during the test-run to get band-aids and a camera," I noticed the amused expression on his face and quickly explained. "Whole other story. Anyway so I get home and Rory and Dean are coming out of her room and then the bed was unmade and then she starts saying that they love each other and I tell her he's married and then the next thing I know she's screaming at me and telling me she hate's me." I started to cry again, pulling him close and laying my head on his chest. "She actually said she hates me." I mumbled sadly.

"Shh," He whispered softly, encircling his arms around my body and running them up and down my back. "She doesn't hate you, she just knows your right, she messed up and you were there to call her on it." He slung his legs under the blankets next me and continued to allow me to cry on him. "She's like you, she hates it when she's wrong, especially admitting it."

Luke was exactly what I needed in my life and I hated to think that I only noticed it once he was gone. He always knew how to comfort me and how to make sure I was fine. He was my knight in shining flannel. Perfect. "Thanks," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his back and adjusting myself to get comfortable. "Night Luke,"

He pulled my up a little and kissed the top of my head, a gesture that made my stomach get all tingly. "Night Lorelai,"

"Don't leave," I whispered sadly about to fall back to sleep.

"I'll be here when you wake up, don't worry. Everything will be fine, I promise." His voice was so reassuring and sure that I felt like I had to believe him. So for the time being, I did. Everyone knew that I never broke down, I was an independent woman, never needing help, never needing, really needing, a shoulder to cry on. Everyone knew, but Luke, the guy that I actually needed to depend on, to open up.

"Good," And soon after that, I fell asleep, thoughts of Rory and my parents and the inn out of my mind, only focusing on the man I was sleeping next to, whose arms circled around me in a protective way, the way he smelled and the way his chest rose and fell in a soothing pattern with the softness of his flannel against my cheek beckoning me to sleep.

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The next morning I woke up to the sounds of banging on the door. I sat up and looked around, the same way Luke had the night before. I felt something heavy around my waist and looked down, noticing Luke's arm wrapped around me, pulling me close to him. I smiled and watched him sleep until I heard the banging again. I looked over at the clock and noticed the time, 9:38. Shit. I was late. I quickly scrambled up- waking up Luke in the process- and swung open the door. 

"Rory," I said, shocked. Why on earth was she here? To apologize? To yell at me some more? Did Sookie make her come up here and make sure I was up?

"I'm going to Europe with Grandma." She said bluntly, averting my gaze completely.

"What?" I asked, confused. I mean, I had just woken up and then my one and only offspring says she running off to Europe?

"I need to think and this will be good for me. I thought about it last night and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. I called Grandma and she said that would be fine. So I have to pack." I was astonished that she could sound so sure of herself.

"Are you sure?" I asked uneasily. "I mean, what about Dean? Are you just giving up on him?" I tried to sound comforting but I knew she would be offended by my words.

"I'm positive and before you think that I am doing this to get away from Dean, I'm not. I'm doing it to get away from you." Her voice was so even and her words stung.

I could feel a lump rising in my throat. "Weren't you supposed to go through this phase, like, five years ago?" I asked looking at her and noticing a shocked look come across her face.

"Is there a man in there?" She asked, wide-eyed.

I froze and wondered how she could have figured it out. Was Luke behind me? I quickly turned around to check. No Luke. "Um, why would you, um, think that?" I asked playing dumb.

She pointed at the boots lying lazily by the door. "Is it Jason?" She asked quietly, as if the night before hadn't just happened and she hadn't just said that she was whisking herself off to Europe to get away from me.

"No," I said, deciding that I would let her wonder. "You know, I have to get ready, I overslept. Make sure that you don't forget some extra underwear; you never know when you'll need it."

She looked confused. "Well, who is it?" She asked completely ignoring my good-bye.

I sighed and looked down. I knew that in the end I would end up telling her. "Luke," I mumbled quietly so she couldn't hear me.

"What?"

"Luke, I said, Luke is here and most likely still asleep in bed so I have to go." I tried to shut the door but she held it open.

"You're with Luke? And you didn't tell me?" Her voice sounded hurt and small. I hated how she could make me feel bad even though she had hurt me so bad the night before.

"No, I am not with Luke. He stopped by last night and we ended up falling asleep talking." I know my tone had a hint of regret in it, considering the night I ran away from him after he and I kissed, I tried not to think about it, though. It sucked the way I ran away but still, I couldn't turn back time. No matter how much I wanted to.

"Oh, does he, um, does he know about me and Dean?" She asked quietly.

I knew she would ask this, but I didn't lie to her. "Yes,"

Her eyes widened, probably out of embarrassment. "Okay then, I'm just going to go pack." She said quietly, gesturing towards the exit. "Tell Luke I said hi." And she was gone. I could feel some tears pricking my eyes from the coldness of her tone.

I walked into the room and noticed Luke sitting on the bed. He had obviously heard the previous conversation. "Is she really leaving?" He asked perplexed. "Because of you? That is crap, you know, she's just using you as an excuse. You know that."

"I just- I feel like I could have stopped it, prevented it. Like I could have done something to make her realize what she was doing. She probably is leaving because of me." I hated that tone I was using. That 'hopeless, helpless, save me with a life preserver before I drowned.

"This was her choice," Luke told me firmly as he wrapped his arms around my waist, a gesture that he and I were completely familiar with. "You couldn't have prevented, it would have happened eventually. She needed to make this mistake, no matter how wrong it was. And once she gets back, you two will be best friends again and then she'll admit her mistake, cry a little and then you'll eat tons of junk food and watch some movies."

I was crying silently, sniffling against his chest. It was amazing how he could always be so sure and sound like everything would come out perfect in the end. He hands were rubbing my back gently and I had to admit, it felt amazing. His touch was sending sparks throughout my body, making it difficult to concentrate on the topic at hand. "I know. I know, I just, I hate how she can be so cold and say so many hurtful things to me and then act like nothing happened."

"I know." He paused. "You should get going, you know. You're going to be late and I should get going."

I pulled back. "You're going to leave?" I asked, hurt. "You didn't see the inn or anything, you have to stay. Why do you have to leave?" My voice was cracking due to the tears that had subsided just recently. I sounded so desperate; I truthfully never expected to hear myself beg for a man to stay. I know that it wasn't in the dirty sense, but still.

"I have to go, I don't want to, but I have to. I just want to leave before the crazy people downstairs start talking to me. I promise that I will come to the official opening but I have to leave now. Save me a room for next week, okay?" He asked pulling away and walking over to his shoes.

"Are you sure that you don't want to spend another night like that?" I asked gesturing toward the bed. "Me crying myself asleep while you comfort me for the thousandth time?" My tone was in a joking manner but I could tell that even though he knew this, he was contemplating it. It was one of those looks that I could read off his face.

"Hey," He said gently, ignoring what I had just said. "Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to, I'm here. I don't care if you make a fool of yourself, you're still my best friend and I will always be there to listen." Just in those words I knew that Luke had to be perfect, like and angel sent from the heavens.

I smiled. "I know. And don't think that I don't appreciate it because I do Luke, I really do." I spoke in a genuine tone and watched a small grin play at his lips.

"Good. And I know. So I'll see you around, and remember, call me anytime. I seriously think that Liz just called me up for company. I know she's sick but she shows no symptoms, it is so freakin' annoying."

"I will and that sounds sucky," I agreed. "I should go get changed. You might want to hurry out now before everyone's done with breakfast."

"Right, bye." He said as an awkward silence began to fill the air. Both of us probably thinking about the last time we said goodbye in person. Or, at least I was.

I tentatively walked over and gave him a hug. He gave in quickly and wrapped his arms around me. "Bye,"

He pulled back, and I actually though he was going to kiss me, but he had a look in his eyes. It contained love, desire, and adoration. For me. I was a little surprised. But I quickly stopped thinking about it as he pulled away completely. "Bye Lorelai." And with a wave, he was gone, again.

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Authors Note- Expect a lot of updates this next week because I broke my leg and will be in bed with my laptop all next week.

**Authors Note 2- If you have been reading 'Just a Little Mistake' and have been wondering why I haven't updated it's because I haven't had any idea on what to write. I have to admit, writer's block sucks.**

**I need reviews badly. These next four weeks of boredom will consist of writing and the more writing you want then the more reviews I will need. **


	8. Chapter 8

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 8- Luke (Saturday May 22nd 5:30 P.M-Inn Opening)

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I had been driving back to Stars Hollow for hours. Once I heard Liz needed me I didn't think I'd be back here for a year or two and already I am going back. For the same person. And to the same place. Lorelai's inn, the Dragonfly. Last week due to her minor breakdown because of Rory and this week because of the grand-opening. 

She made me promise that I would come tonight, saying that this never would have happened without me and with Rory gone she would need someone to celebrate, so I agreed, not that she needed to beg for me to come. I wanted to see her dream come true, and the fact that I helped her made it more bearable.

Ever since Jess arrived in Maine he's been bugging me, saying that I'll never get over Lorelai, that I was a coward to tell her I loved her, but I did. He just didn't know that. I didn't mean for it to come out that night, I think that was the reason she had ran, considering the fact that she never even said it back. I sighed, trying not to think about it. It hurt too much.

I checked the clock as I neared the Dragonfly, 5:30. Lorelai had told me to get there at 4:30 but I wasn't a major guest, and I had to work a little as Liz's job for her, I had to come late. And I felt bad for not telling Lorelai.

I pulled into one of the only empty spots and turned my truck off. Getting out the car and grabbing my bag off the seat, I shut the door and checked the reflection of my black pants and sweater that Lorelai herself had bought me. I didn't know if I was overdressed but I thought that jeans and flannel would definitely mark as underdressed.

Heading up the front steps I saw Lorelai and Michel bickering behind the front desk. It felt weird, seeing her after going a whole week with only getting a glimpse of her on a piece of paper resting on the table beside my bed. I stood there, memorizing her features- not that I hadn't before- but really watching her.

She must have noticed this because she looked over at me and smiled. "Hey, you're here," She gestured me to come over and only focused on me, ignoring whatever Michel was saying. "What took you so long? You're late, mister." She scolded playfully.

"I just got held up at work,"

"You have a job? How come I didn't know this?" She asked as she searched for something on the computer.

"Oh, well I just had to take over at Liz's job for awhile. Nothing big," I said nonchalantly. "So, do I have a specific room number or anything?" I asked after a couple seconds of silence

"Oh, uh, yeah, number 7, you know where that is." She said with a knowing smile. "Now let me get someone to bring you bags up to your room."

"I got it," I said, gesturing to my one bag.

"I don't understand how you can pack so little," She mumbled to herself. "So, dinner is at 6, and we'll see you there, so uh, buh-bye."

"Okay," I turned around to head upstairs and not soon after I heard Lorelai call out my name.

"Luke," I turned around, eyebrows raised in a questionable manner. "Thank you for coming tonight," She said gratefully.

I let a small smile escape, "Wouldn't miss it for the world," I told her. She looked down at the floor shyly and then looked up with a large smile plastered on her face.

* * *

"Okay," I watched Lorelai as she shifted in the front of the dining room nervously. It was now a little past 6 and Lorelai was making a 'big magnificent totally cool speech'. Her words, not mine. "I just wanted to say, Welcome to the grand opening of the Dragonfly Inn and thank you for choosing here to stay. Opening the Dragonfly has been me and my friend Sookie's dream for the past twenty years and I am just amazed at the work that has been put into it. It's finally up and I want to take this time to say thank you to a friend of mine, Luke, because without whom, this wonderful structure would not be standing. Now, I would tell him to come up here and give a little speech or something, but then he'd kill me. So, thank you Luke, so much. And thank you everyone else for staying here and enjoy the food and the rooms and have a great time." She finished with a smile and walked over to my table where I sat. 

"You know you didn't need to thank me." I told her as she took a seat at my table.

"Oh, now, don't be modest; you know that without you we wouldn't even be here." She told me as she took the fork that was settled on my plate and began to eat off it.

"Don't you get fed here?" I asked her when she pulled the plate in front of her.

"Yes but Sookie's on a rampage and she doesn't want me in the kitchen. She actually thinks I'll burn something or make something explode." She said with a scoff.

I sighed and took the plate back, watching her face fall into disappointment. "Well that doesn't mean you get to eat mine." She began to pout and reach out for the fork in my hand. "Stop it," I said annoyed.

"Please Luke, this is a new business and I need my strength, hence the food." She whined. "Just one more bite."

"You know," I said as I pushed my plate towards her, causing a wide-spread grin to appear across her face. "It's bad for the business when the employer is eating of the guests plates."

"Well you're not a guest; you're a loving friend that would never allow me to die of starvation." She said with mock adoration.

I sighed and finally gave up on this conversation. "So how are things?" I asked, trying to get her to open up to me about Rory leaving.

"Things are fine," She said dismissively.

I thought that maybe she didn't understand the meaning behind my question or maybe she just didn't want to talk about it. "Really?" I asked unsurely. Considering the phone call from last week and the fact that she has sobbed into my shirt all night long, I wasn't really believing her.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She asked with an expression that was practically screaming, 'Not here, not now,'

"No reason. So, I am really proud of you, you know. This inn, it's yours and you finally did it. You finally made your dream come true." I told her sincerely, trying to lighten the mood.

"Thanks Luke, for everything. For the money and just for being here." She told me, placing her hand over mine as a sweet and meaningless gesture. I think. She must have noticed this because as I looked into her eyes questionably, she immediately pulled back. "So, um, how has Jess been?" She asked, trying to avoid the awkwardness.

"He's been good. He ended finishing high school and he got himself a job. Nothing good, but he said it paid for the necessities and all. Now in Maine, he's been helpful, not the old Jess." I told her, trying not to sound too proud.

"You know he's doing well because of you." She told me with a small smile. I shrugged, though, trying not to make a big deal about it. "You brought him back on the right track, you helped him, you guided him. You were wrong." She said with a triumphant smile.

"I was wrong about what?" I asked perplexed.

"You said you failed him, but look at him now, you didn't."

"I guess not." I said shyly.

She looked around the room and then looked back at me. "Thanks for the food but I have to get back to work." She pushed the plate back to me and stood up. "Looks like we both succeeded, huh?" She asked me, patting me on the arm. "I'll stop by later, I'm just going to go do the rounds." She told me as she started walking away, backwards.

I nodded and tried not to laugh as I saw the chair sticking out just a mere five inches behind her and then before I could get a word out she stumbled over it clumsily. "Lorelai," I got out between the stifled chuckles as she tried to stand up and walk strait without stumbling.

She turned back to me and put her hands up in mock surrender. "I'm okay," She said brushing off her wrinkled skirt.

"Hey, Lorelai?" I called out tentatively, gesturing her to come over.

"Yeah?" She asked once she was in hearing distance.

"Come by my room tonight-" I started off saying, but was interrupted by Lorelai, of course.

"Is this something dirty?" She asked in a breathy, high-pitched voice.

"So we can talk," I finished. I really wanted to ask about Rory. During the two times we had talked during the week over the phone she had successfully avoided the Rory conversation and I wanted to make sure that she was doing okay, again considering the minor breakdown.

"Talk dirty?" She asked mischievously.

"Come in around nine, okay?" I asked, ignoring her.

"Nine it is."

* * *

After staying in the dining room for a little while and grabbing a little more food from the kitchen, I decided to finally go upstairs and into my room. It was around 8:25 so I decided to change out of the dress clothes I had worn to dinner and into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and check what's on Tv. 

After waiting about forty minutes I heard a knock at the door. I got up and walked over to the door slowly, taking my time to annoy her even more. "Hey," I said once I opened the door.

"Took you long enough." She said as she brushed past me.

I watched her walk directly over to the bed and stretched out facing the window and stared out of it, not paying attention to me or the fact that baseball was on the Tv. "You know, for a second I thought you were your mother." I said walking over to the bed.

"Huh," She said. Now I knew she was completely out of it if not even a comment regarding her and her mother registered in her mind.

I walked over and sat down next to her. "You okay?" I asked hesitantly. When I received no answer I gently put my hand on her shoulder and nudged her to face me. "Lorelai?" My voice was full of concern as I noticed her distant expression.

"She just called." She finally said, her voice barely audible. "She just called and was so cold, she wouldn't talk to me she just mumbled something about the weather and hung up. It was so un-Rory like. I just need her to talk to me, It's killing me to hear her so distant. I just want my Rory back."

It was killing me to see her like this. She seemed so out of it and heartbroken. "Well at least she called." I said, trying to find a bright side.

Her face stayed expressionless. "My mother called and forced Rory on the phone to talk to me. She's so oblivious."

"Rory?" I asked, confused.

"No, my mother. She doesn't have a clue what's going on in Rory's life. All she cares about is how my father is driving her crazy and who knows what else is going on in her mind." She ranted as she sat up into a more comfortable position, crossing her legs.

"Well, that sucks." I concluded, gently pushing her over so I could sit down next to her. Just as I was about to ask her how Rory was she interrupted me, again.

"Can I see the remote?" She asked visibly annoyed with the game on Tv. I silently handed it to her and she changed the channel. "Thanks," She whispered quietly as she set her head on my shoulder.

"So, you done for tonight?" I asked, deciding to ease onto the subject of Rory.

"Yeah," She said, stifling a yawn. "God, it's been a long day. I woke up at eight in the morning! Can you believe that, eight in the morning." She said incredulously.

"Wow," I said sarcastically.

"I know." She said, obviously not catching my sarcasm. "I've been working all day to make sure today was perfect."

I cautiously wrapped an arm around her shoulder and tugged her closer to me. "Today, from what I could tell, was perfect." I told her reassuringly.

"I know, and I'm surprised. Isn't the first day supposed to go horrible and totally wrong and then you spend the whole night trying to figure out how to fix it for the next day?"

"Well, that's what the test-run was for." I told her. I felt her tense up a little and told her in a reassuring voice. "You know, the whole Kirk running naked thing and then the thing with the seven servers you told me about."

"Right, right." She mumbled.

"What are we watching?" I asked, trying to figure out what was being said on the Tv.

"Truthfully, I have no clue." She said with a small laugh.

"Ahh. So how are you holding up?" I asked finally.

I felt her stiffen and shift a little, She stretched her legs out across the bed and threw an arm over my chest, burying her face into the crook of my arm. "Horrible." I heard her murmur.

"Why so horrible?"

"It's been to quiet lately, and even though I've done my best to bury myself in my work, the silence at night is too eerie. We've never been separated by an ocean, on separate continents, in a fight." She said just a little too dramatically.

"You've been alone for the whole year, why's this so different?"

"I don't know," She whined. "It's so freakin' annoying too. I just want her to call and say that I was right and she was wrong and then we can get back to our normal relationship."

"Give her time, it'll happen eventually." I told her, rubbing her arm reassuringly.

"I know, it's just, I miss her." She said, lifting her head up to look at me.

"I know you do, but you have to let her think about what she's done."

She took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter. "I know,"

"Can we please change the channel?" I asked once the silence between us began and the Spanish people on the Tv started to get on my nerves.

"Thank god, I was beginning to think you'd never change it."

"You're the one with the remote."

"Sure," She said disbelievingly as I took the remote away and changed the channel.

"Anything specific?"

"Just keep going, I'll tell you when to stop." She said as she wrapped her arm around my back and clasped her hands around my side.

"Comfortable?" I asked with a hint of amusement.

She immediately sat up and let go, "Oh, um, sorry." She said clearly embarrassed and I think she was blushing. I never thought that I would actually make Lorelai blush.

"No, it's fine, I was just saying," I said, missing the warmth that radiated off her body and onto mine. I tugged her closer to me, trying to show her it was fine.

"You sure?" She asked unconvinced. I nodded and she wrapped her arms around me again hesitantly. As soon as I was about to say something she squealed in delight. "Ohh, stop here, no, go back, no further ahead, for god's sake Luke," She said annoyed as she snatched the remote out of my hands. She then proceeded to kick her shoes off and pulled the blankets back and climb under them.

"Staying the night?" I asked clearly amused.

"Matters, do you snore?"

"I don't know did I wake you up last week?" I shot back.

"Hmmph, well go get changed, jeans aren't comfy to cuddle next to." She said, pushing me off the bed.

"Shouldn't you be getting changed too?" I asked, walking over to my bag.

"Well my skirt is silk and silk is comfy."

I sighed and walked over to the bathroom, figuring that by the time I got back she'd be gone to her room to get something to wear. By the time I got out, clad in my boxers and t-shirt, Lorelai was still sitting in the middle of the bed. "Shouldn't you really be getting changed?"

"Oh please," She said dismissively, "Like you don't want to 'accidentally' brush up against my thigh in the middle of the night and then say that you didn't mean to and then you'll do it again and then you think that by the end of the night you'll get lucky."

"Right," I said trying to stifle a laugh, though I really wouldn't have minded that. "You'll be asleep by the time this movie's over. You were practically asleep by the time you got in here." I told her as I got comfortable.

"You're probably right," She said tiredly as she laid her head on my shoulder.

"Go to sleep, you've got another long day tomorrow." I whispered into her hair, as I shut the light off.

"Night Luke," She mumbled into my shirt as she turned her attention to the Tv.

"Good night Lorelai," I whispered, pulling her close and enjoying her warmth, praying that in the next month there would be another reason for me to be back here holding her again.

**

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**Authors Note-** Sorry for the long updates, So much writers block. This week has been so boring and I swear I am surprised I haven't killed myself yet. I've watched over 40 episodes of Gilmore Girls to unblock the block. The beginning is a little slow but I like the end, I think.

Reviews please, I already have the next chapter plotted out so the more reviews I get the sooner it will be posted.


	9. Chapter 9

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view. (Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 9- Lorelai (May 29th Sometime late at night)

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I was standing in the dark, a musty air surrounding me, then as I am looking around, I see a man. He's tall, not many distinguishing features, though, I noticed. As I hard I as I tried, I just could not place that face with someone's name. It looked so familiar, yet so different. "Hello?" I called out; my voice small and meek. 

I don't think that he heard me, though, because he kept walking around slowly, carefully, as if waiting for someone and completely ignoring me. "Hello?" I called out again, my voice gaining confidence and volume. Still, he ignored me.

As I began to take steps towards him, he began to be further and further away. I knew that I needed to reach him, I saw his arm outstretch towards me, I tried my hardest to grab it, but failed completely. The air around us was getting thicker and more difficult to breathe. "Wait!" I called out louder than before, taking a leap towards him and stumbling completely.

I looked up at him, confused to see him hovering above me. "Shh, don't be afraid Lorelai; we all know you love him, just tell him." The mysterious man told me. Now I was completely baffled. Just as I was about to ask him tons of questions that were racing through my mind, 'Love who? How do you know? Who are you? How the hell do you know my name?' I woke up.

I sat up immediately in my bed, breathing heavily and rapidly with beads of sweat forming at my hairline. I waited for my heart level to decrease back to normal before looking over at the clock. 3:46 a.m. it read in bright red flashing letters. It was one of those new clocks that woke you up to the radio or CD. Mine was pink and had gold and purple velvet stars on it, Rory had made fun of it, saying it was a children's' clock. I knew she was just jealous though.

Next to the clock was the phone, exactly what I was looking for at that moment. I reached over for it, nearly falling off the bed in the process. I pressed speed dial 4, one of my most called numbers lately.

"Hello?" Answered a groggy voice filled with annoyance.

"I need you to analyze my dream," I said hurriedly into the phone, afraid that I would forget what it was if I didn't get it out into the open soon enough.

"Lorelai?" Luke asked into the phone, now sounding even more annoyed and confused then when he picked up the phone.

"Yes, its Lorelai, who else would call you at almost 4 in the morning to have you analyze their dreams? Lucas Danes do you have other woman calling you to decipher what their dreams mean?" I asked feigning astonishment, though I felt a twinge of jealousy in my stomach, not that I would ever admit it though.

"No," He said tiredly. "Wait, it's 4 in the morning?" He asked me exasperated.

"Yes, Luke, we already covered that, now onto my dream." I swear I heard him sigh when he shifted into a better listening position. "Wait," I said suddenly.

"What?"

"What are you wearing?" I asked, not even thinking before I spoke.

"What the hell? Lorelai, why on earth would you need to know that?" His tone was incredulous mixed with exasperated and I had to do my best to contain my laughter.

"Well, I cant be going on and on about my dream if your sitting in your bed on the other line, naked." I said with total seriousness, because it was true. I mean, Luke, naked on the phone talking to me, now that would lead to some things I really shouldn't be talking about.

"I am not naked." He nearly screamed into the phone.

"Are you sure?" I asked still trying to be serious.

"Yes, Lorelai," He told me in his normal Luke way, full of gruffness and annoyance. "I think I would know if I wasn't wearing anything."

"Okay, good," I proceeded to tell him about my dream: the think air, the darkness, the lost mystery man, and the part about him saying I love someone. "So what do you think it means?" I asked full of anxiousness. Luke was a philosophical guy; he'd probably be able to tell me what it means.

"You know what I think?" He asked me in his amazingly gruff and sexy voice that made me weak in the knees ever so often.

"What?" I asked, smiling a little. I mean, I didn't have dreams that often but usually when I did they meant something. Something important or big, like when I had the dream when I was pregnant with Luke's twins, I had missed him and I wanted that married life like Chris, with the kids and family and Luke was one of the guys that could give it to me. Maybe if I had realized this before though, I wouldn't be on the phone.

"I think you should have a therapist on your speed dial instead of me." And with that, he actually hung up on me.

I actually pulled the phone back and looked at it, surprised. Had he really just hung up on me and insinuated I need help in less than 30 seconds? He had! I started to pout, because he had really offended me, but then I realized that he was in Maine, he couldn't see my pout.

I sighed and sat back, trying to drift back off to sleep. My final thoughts on Luke and how much I missed him and right before I lost fell into a deep sleep, how much I loved him.

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**Authors Note-** At least 61 reviews total before the next update. I've watched 76 episodes so far. Give me something to do!


	10. Chapter 10

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view. (Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 10- Luke (June 4th 7:20 P.M)

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God, life in Maine has been really boring compared to life in the Hollow. Nothing has been going on lately and my only action is taking Liz to her doctor appointments. Thankfully I have been keeping in touch with Lorelai, though. She's been calling at least every other day to fill me in on what's been going on with the inn and so far she hasn't heard anything from Rory.

Right as I was about to go and grab some water my cell phone rang. I checked the time and noticed she was calling earlier than usual. "Hey," I said into the phone as I picked it up and sat on the bed against the headboard.

"Hey," She said in an out-of-breath voice.

"What's up? You're calling a little earlier than usual,"

I heard her take a deep breath and release it tiredly. "You'll never believe who wants to have dinner with me at the Dragonfly tomorrow," She said with a sigh.

I tensed up a little, not sure what she meant, but then tried to relax and hope that she wouldn't notice a change in my voice. "Oh yeah, who's that?" I asked, clenching my jaw.

"It's," She paused for a dramatic affect, though I just thought it was annoying. "My father," She said way too dramatically.

"You're father?" I asked, puzzled as to why she was making such a big deal about this.\

"I know," She drawled out.

"What's so bad about that?" I asked with a small chuckle.

She paused and for a second the line was silent. "You cannot seriously be asking me what is bad about having dinner, at the Dragonfly, with just me. No buffers, no people who could interrupt, just me. I don't think I have ever sat and had dinner with just my father. It's just, it's not us." She cried into the phone.

"Well, when is this dinner?" I asked, trying to sound a bit sympathetic, though not succeeding that well.

"On Monday." She said dreadfully.

"If you didn't what to go then why did you say yes?"

"I just felt bad for him, with my mother gone and Friday night dinner's canceled I don't know id he's been social lately with anyone other than the people he work's with. I just felt obligated."

"It won't be that bad," I said rolling my eyes.

"Of course it will!" She cried frantically. "Unless..." She started in a mischievous tone.

I could already see the wheels turning in her head. "No," I stated firmly, knowing that it was best to decline what ever she was about to say.

"You don't even know what I was going to say!" She exclaimed.

"And I know you well enough to say no before you even ask." I shot back, shifting in my seat.

"I haven't seen you in awhile you know," She said in a sweet and sugary voice.

"I know,"

"So it would be like killing two birds with one stone," She said smiling.

"No," I said firmly.

"But Luke," She whined.

"I am not having dinner with you and your father, it'd go horrible. This is something you and your dad need to do." I said decidedly.

"But I miss you, and what a better time to see you then at a dinner."

"With your father," I added.

"Hey, you were just saying that this wouldn't be that bad so, please, Luke."

"Stop pouting" I said annoyed,

"I'm flipping my hair in that sexy way that always convinces you to do anything for me," She said in a low voice.

"Yeah, well, I can't see it so it's not working." I said, trying to brush the thought of Lorelai out of my mind.

"Please, Luke, I'll do anything, just don't make me have dinner alone with him," She whined desperately.

"It'd be too late to drive home, I'm sorry I can't come." I said flatly.

"Hello, we'd be at an inn, you can stay here."

I sighed, knowing that there was no way out of this. "Get me a room for one night, and I want a discount," I said gruffly into the phone.

She squealed in delight and began to thank me repeatedly. "Oh my god, we can make it a sleep over like at the opening. I'll bring movies this time so we have something to watch, sound good?" She asked.

"Peachy," I deadpanned.

"Great and remember, this is my father, no flannel." She said.

"I'll pick my suit up at the cleaners tomorrow." I remarked dryly.

"Thank you Luke," She said sincerely. "I owe you big time."

"Yeah, you do."

"How's this, dinners on me and you only have to pay half-price for the room?"

"Sounds good, I guess. So how has the inn been? Still running successfully?"

"It's awesome, a little stressful at times, but it's the beginning of a business, so I'll take what I can get." She said tiredly.

"Well you'll get used to it sooner or later. Any word from Rory?" I asked cautiously. Usually whenever the subject of Rory was brought up, she was dismissive about it and not-so-subtly changed the subject.

I heard a sigh come from the phone, "Nothing," She said sadly. "So dinners at six, think you could be there on time?" She asked with a tight voice.

"Yeah," I said reassuringly. "I'll be there on time."

"I'll call Sunday night to make sure you're coming, okay?" She said, probably not trusting me to be on time.

"You don't have to; you know I'll be there." I reminded her.

"I know, but it's nice to have someone to vent to. Even if it's over the phone." She said sadly.

"You know I'd rather be in Stars Hollow with you then here in Maine with Jess and Liz." I reminded her, it's like sometimes she doesn't know these things.

"Yeah, I know." She said with a hint of a smile in her voice. "How's Jess?" She asked uncomfortably.

"He's good, he makes snide remarks about us talking every other night and me visiting Stars Hollow so much, but he's good."

She laughed quietly. "That sounds like Jess, now I really have to go. I'll talk to you Sunday. Bye."

"Talk to you then." I said warily. After I hung up I realized how much my life had changed in less then a month and yet how it hadn't changed. I moved to Maine, but I'm still in Stars Hollow at least once a month because of Lorelai. God how I missed that woman. And now I have to have dinner with her and her father in three days. What joy.**

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Authors Note- I know, it sucks but I needed a filler in. I've got some ideas coming up and the next chapter is the dinner. At least 73 reviews total before next chapter. Check out my other story- 'Driving me Crazy' please, tell me how it is.


	11. Chapter 11

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 11- Lorelai (June 7th 6 P.M)

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"Sookie!" I cried frantically into the kitchen. 

"Yeah, Hun?" She replied, distracted by her cooking.

"I don't wanna go out there." I whined- mostly to myself, due to the fact that no one was listening.

"That's nice; can you pass me the spoon?" Sookie asked me, again distracted.

"Here," I said, quickly shoving some type of cutlery at her. I've been freaking out, my dad has been trying to reach out and talk to me lately. I know he's been missing my mom, hell I don't even know why they can't just make up and get back together. This night will be hell.

"This isn't a spoon!" Sookie said exasperated, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Oh," I said, noticing I handed her some type of giant spork. "Well, Luke should be here soon, and my dad. I better get out there." I told her, gesturing towards the door to indicate that I was leaving.

Sookie sighed, most likely annoyed with me. "Yeah, that's fine I'll see you later."

I walked out of the kitchen slowly. I still hadn't told my dad Luke was coming so he'll probably be mad at me for some etiquette reason. I passed my office and slipped in to check my hair and make-up. The silence was deafening at the moment and as I applied another coat of lip gloss, the door opened swiftly, causing me to drop the tube of gloss and almost fall over.

"You okay?" Luke asked me, trying to stifle a laugh as he walked over to me.

"God! Knock next time or something," I breathed out, still trying to catch my breath.

"Sorry, here." He handed me the tube of double bubble lip gloss, making a disgusted face as he read the label.

"Thanks." I said, accepting it and tossing it into one of the drawers in my desk. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I asked Michel and he said you were somewhere around here, so I decided to check." He said with a simple shrug, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.

"Of course," I mumbled, smoothing my some-what frizzed up hair with my hands. "Was my dad out there?" I asked, doing my best to not visibly cringe.

"Tall? Mustache? Suit and Tie?" He asked vaguely.

"He's here?" I groaned and immediately deflated from all hopelessness.

"No, I was just wondering what he looked like," He said with a small smirk covering his features.

"Don't do that, please. This night is going to be stressful enough; I don't need you adding to it." I noticed the bag hooked on his left shoulder. "Do you want to go upstairs and put that away?" I asked, pointing to it.

"Sure," He shrugged and gestured for me to lead the way.

We walked out the room and I slowed down a little to allow him to catch up. "I already put my bag up there," I informed him, smiling, thinking of how I'd get to spend another night with Luke.

"Wait, you were serious about that?" He frowned.

I looked at him with a smile and kept silent. Out of the corner of my eye I swear I saw him smile a little, but I might have been hallucinating. We entered the lobby area and I noticed my father, dressed in a suit, as usual. "Hey," I said quietly, nudging Luke as we got closer.

He looked at me and saw me gesturing to my father. "What room should I put this in?" He asked me.

"Seven, and hurry up." I told him with a tight smile. He nodded and headed towards the stairs and I did my best not to look at his butt as he walked up away, trying to focus on the main reason he was here- my father. "Hi dad," I said walking up to him.

"Hello Lorelai," He said in his polite tone. "Are we having dinner soon?" He looked different, as if the summer so far had aged him a little.

"Um, yeah, we're just waiting for someone." I said, awkwardly shifting from my left foot to my right, willing Luke to hurry up.

"Someone else?" He asked, seeming a little surprised.

"Uh yeah, dad you remember Luke from the diner?" I asked, waving Luke over quickly as he began to descend from the stairs.

"Mr. Gilmore." Luke said awkwardly, shaking his hand.

"Hello Luke," He said, then looked at me. "I thought he moved." He asked me quietly; though I was sure Luke could hear still.

I rolled my eyes and looked back at Luke. He seemed to be clearly amused as to me and my fathers relationship, though I was surprised he remembered my meltdown about Luke. "You remembered?" I asked, with a small laugh of disbelief.

"Well you did make quite a scene at dinner a couple weeks ago, you and Rory." He reminded me.

"Oh, well, Luke decided that he wanted to come and have dinner with us so here he is, let's go have dinner. Sookie has some amazing chicken cooking." I said, smiling tensely and trying to get the focus off the night of my many breakdowns.

"You know Lorelai; it is rude to invite a guest without consulting the other company of his or her arrival." He said from behind me as I latched my arm onto Luke's elbow and steered him into the dining room.

"Well this is going to be a fun night," He whispered into my ear, causing his hot breath to send chills down my spine. It was crazy that a simple gesture from him could do that to me.

"And it's just starting. By the end of the night you better be ready to give me a massage because I am going to be so tense." I whispered back kidding, as I led him to the table in corner.

Luke pulled my chair out for me- an odd gesture, but sweet nonetheless- and I thanked him as I noticed my father watching us from the corner of my eye. As we sat down I handed my father one of the menus and grabbed one for myself. Hoping that maybe he would take awhile to figure out what he's want to eat, but of course, he didn't even look at the menu. "So how long have you two been together?" He asked solemnly.

I froze and snuck a side glace at Luke, who had the equal deer in the headlights look etched on his face. "We're, um, not together," I said, trying not to stumble on the words. Because we might have been together, if I hadn't run that night. I tried to force that memory out of my mind, no matter how amazing it was, I still didn't like to dwell on it that much- I mean, he never brought it up, given the fact that I ran, I know I should be the one to speak up, but still.

He gave me a doubtful look. "Lorelai," He started with a sigh. "I am not your mother, I know things, it's obvious."

"She's right, sir, we're just friends," Luke added as an attempt to get the focus on the 'what could be' part of out relationship.

He still had the same look on his face and nodded slowly, probably not believing us. "Right," He mumbled, reaching out and grabbing the menu I had set in front of him. "So, what is good here?"

I opened my menu and skimmed it, trying to remember something that he would like tolerate enough to eat. "The rolls are good," I said weakly. I hadn't really had that much time to taste much of Sookie's recent cooking masterpieces lately.

"I didn't mean as an appetizer, Lorelai," He said tiredly. "I meant as a meal, you work here, you should be able to recommend certain dishes."

I shot Luke an 'I told you so' sort of Luke, trying to prove my reason of being this stressed. He offered me a weak but reassuring smile and took a look at the menu. "You know, Sookie makes amazing chicken kiave. It comes with some really nice steamed vegetables." He said knowingly.

I sent him a grateful look and looked at my dad to see his reaction. "That sounds nice, Luke, at least some one here can make a nice recommendation." He directed to me in a flat voice.

"I know, what would we do without you Luke?" I asked in a mock-sweet voice. He scowled at me and sent me a look that said 'Shut up, I'm here because of you'. God, me and Luke were so good at talking with just the looks on our faces we could join the FBI. This was going to be a long night.

Thankfully, our food was served quickly and we were already eating our dessert, the dinner was eaten mostly in silence except for some of the strange comments I made and when Luke tried to do his best not to laugh. "So, Luke, how is your brother?" My dad asked conversationally.

Luke looked at me quizzically then back to my father. "My brother?" He asked, confused.

I sighed and rested my head in my hands. For once, could my dad actually know what was going on in my life and try and be polite to my friends? "It's his sister, dad." I butted in, "His sister, Liz."

"Well why did you tell me it was his brother?" He asked in a slightly mad tone.

"I didn't." I said, trying to defend myself. I looked at Luke with a distressed face and he gave me a weak, yet amused smile.

"Then why would I think it was his brother who was ill?" I seriously could not believe he was mad at me for his mistake.

"Dad," I said trying to remain calm and not scream due to the tension building up. "I didn't say it was his brother, I didn't even say anything about Luke at dinner that night. Rory was the one who was talking, not me. And I am positive she didn't say brother."

"I know Rory was the one talking, she was the only one who said anything at dinner that night, unless of course you count the hour you and your daughter were sobbing in the hallway."

God, why couldn't I have a normal father? "So Luke how is Liz?" I asked, trying keep an even voice.

"She's doing well, the doctor said the cancer isn't as bad as it could be, so I take we take it as a good thing," He said, while reaching under the table and squeezing my thigh, causing me to jump a little. He let it rest there and I could feel a flush rising in my cheeks, trying not to make eye-contact with him.

"Well that's a good thing isn't it, Lorelai?" My father directed to me, causing me to try and force all the Luke thoughts out of my mind and pay attention to my dad.

"Yeah, definitely," Though I really had no clue what we were talking about.

"You know, Lorelai," My father said tiredly, "It's not polite to invite people to dinner and then not pay attention to the conversation." I knew that if I looked him in the eye, he'd be able to see the daggers they were shooting.

Instead, I looked over at Luke and gave him a forced smile. He gave my thigh another reassuring squeeze, causing my mind to fog over. And to add to that he started to rub his thumb in little circles and my forced smile actually started to turn into a lazy, love-sick one. I immediately looked down, trying not to show the blush in my face. I don't blush, Lorelai Gilmore does not blush.

How the hell could he keep such a calm face and keep up a conversation while his hand was on my leg, driving me crazy? "Isn't Sookie's pot roast great?" I asked, interrupting whatever my father and Luke was talking about, all I knew was that by the look on Luke's face, he really didn't want to talk about it.

"I have the chicken, Lorelai." My father said in a monotone voice.

I rolled my eyes and tried to casually check my watch. It was almost nine o'clock and I couldn't think of a polite way to kick my dad out. I kept trying to get Luke to say something about him being tired so we could leave, but he wasn't playing along. I started to yawn just a little over-dramatically and stretch my arms out and only after about my sixth yawn my father noticed.

"Lorelai, are you okay?" He asked, leaning in and peering at my face.

Luke grabbed my outstretched wrist with the hand that was settled on my thigh, causing a sudden coldness to rush through me. "She's fine," Luke said, mostly directed to me, pulling my hand down and slipping his hand into mine under the table, squeezing it tightly.

"Yeah, dad, I'm fine, just a little tired." I said, starting to feign a yawn again but stopping once I saw Luke's stern look.

My dad looked at his watch and his eyes widened in surprise. "Wow, is it really that late? I'm sorry if I have taken up this much of your time." He said, standing up and me and Luke following suit, in the process of it, Luke dropped his hand, allowing the wave of coldness to overcome me again. "It was nice to meet you, Luke." He said, shaking Luke's hand.

"You've met him before," I muttered, causing Luke to glare at me.

"Lorelai, you know that you shouldn't mumble things under your breath," My father scolded me.

"So, we'll keep in touch?" I asked a little too cheerfully, completely ignoring him. I grabbed Luke's hand and started to lead him to the empty lobby.

Once we reached the lobby, I went behind the desk and grabbed my purse. "Do you want me to walk you to your car?" My father asked me, causing me to freeze in my spot and shoot Luke a nervous glance.

"Oh, no, I have to, um, stay here for a couple more minutes." I stuttered, gripping the strap on my purse nervously.

"Its fine, I can wait." He said, remaining in his spot.

"No dad, go ahead, Luke is amazing when it comes to walking people to their cars. I mean, once, he actually managed to get a woman to her car and inside of it successfully and he even-" I said in a mock serious voice, but was then interrupted by my dad.

"Its fine Lorelai, I was just trying to do the proper thing." He said in a solemn voice. "I'll talk to you soon, goodbye." He waved a short goodbye to Luke and I released a heavy sigh.

"God, that was a nightmare," I whined dramatically, burying my face in his chest.

He gruffly pushed me off. "It wasn't that bad," He said starting to make his way up the stairs.

I made my way through the door, dropping my purse on the desk in the corner and plopped myself down on the bed. "And what did he mean that 'he'll talk to me soon'?" I asked worriedly, burying my face in one of the pillows.

"Maybe that means he might actually be calling you," Luke said, walking over to the chair that his bag was set on and opening it up to get his stuff. "I'm getting changed; you can use the bathroom next."

"Okay," I groaned, pushing my self up slowly and walking over to the chair opposite of the one his bag was on. I unzipped my pink hello kitty bag and take out a blue tank-top and a pair of pink cotton shorts with the word 'sexy' printed on it. I don't know why I chose it, considering the fact that Luke was the one that was who was going to see me in it. But maybe that was the reason.

As I was contemplating my shorts, Luke stepped out of the bathroom, causing my thoughts to waver at the sight before me. Luke in boxer shorts and a t-shirt that showed his chest and arms just right. Albeit the fact I've seen him like this last time, I didn't really have a chance to really look at him. "You okay?" He asked, looking like he was trying not to laugh.

I shook my self out of my Luke thoughts and stood up, trying to remain casual. "Me, yeah, I'm fine, just thinking about the dinner," And the way his hand felt on my leg, rubbing small soft circles. I quickly stood up and tried to shove all those thoughts out of my head, "I'm just gonna get changed," I said to Luke, who had settled on to what has been claimed to be 'his side' of the bed.

"Sure," He nodded, and reached over for the remote, turned on the Tv and began to flip through the channels.

As I came out of the bathroom, I felt a sort of sad pang in my stomach when I noticed he wasn't drooling over my as I did to him. "So what's on?" I asked, plopping myself onto the bed next to him, sprawling out completely and throwing an arm over the top of his chest.

"Nothing," He said flatly, readjusting my arm to the middle of his torso. He handed the remote to me, placing it in my other hand. "You pick,"

After a couple minutes of flipping through, I decided nothing was worth watching. I looked over at look and smiled. "Guess what?" I said, trying not to let my mischievous smile show.

"No," He said, not even looking at me and taking the remote back from my hand.

"You don't even know what I was going to say," I said trying to feign hurt.

"It's something I don't want to hear, I know that." He grunted, occasionally pausing his changing of the channels to watch a short clip of something.

"I brought movies," I said, sprinting up, leaning my weight on his chest with both my hands, causing a deep grunt to emerge from the back of his throat and his to push me off him.

"Movies?" He asked cautiously as I sat up and leaned over to the chair I set my bag on, giving him a clear view of the 'sexiness' shown.

I grabbed the bag and brought it back to the bed, sitting back against the pillows and crossing my legs. As I pulled the two movies out, I noticed he was looking at me, shaking his head. I looked back at him and smiled, leaning over to the chair again and setting the bag down. "Like what you see?" I asked, turning back to him.

"Very modest," He said nodding with a strait face, though I could see a smile under his features.

"That's exactly why I bought 'em." I said proudly, handing both movies to him. "Pick one,"

"Real great choices," He mumbled. I thought they were though, albeit the fact that Love Story might be a little to touchy for him.

"They are, so what one?" I prodded on, settling my self on me knees, looking at him with anticipation. I don't know why but movie night with Luke is always fun.

"How come you always choose chick flicks for us to watch?" He wondered aloud, not even looking at the DVD's set before him.

"Because those are the best kind." I said slowly, trying to sound as if it were the most obvious thing. I grabbed both movies and held them up in front of Luke. "'Love story', or 'The way we were'? You have to pick one and I know they both are equally great but you have to pick one."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "The way we were, I guess." He mumbled, throwing his hands up in mock defeat.

"Good choice," I said, nodding my head decisively and patting his knee. I lean forward and place the DVD into the player. Behind me I could feel Luke smirking at me, staring at my ass. "Okay, you can stop looking at my butt now," I said, looking up to watch his reflection in the mirror above the Tv. I watched his face flush and him look down shyly.

I settled back against the pillow and wriggled my nose up due to the light. I leaned across Luke and flipped the light switch off that was set on the table next to him, the reclined back to my former position, only this time a little closer to Luke and wrapped my arm around his elbow, nuzzling my cheek to his forearm and breathing in his masculine scent.

"Good night, Lorelai," He said, moving down so his head was right above mine and my chin rested slightly on his shoulder.

"Night Luke," I mumbled into his shirt, allowing my mind to wander throughout all my Luke thoughts. Because we aren't crossing the line completely. Just toying around it, and this is as close as we can get while still being comfortable without the awkwardness. It was a nice thought, and I had to admit, being this close to Luke was a nice thing without all the consequences.

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Authors Note- Sorry for the long update. I've been busy, lately. But I am satisfied with the final outcome. I think the next chapter might skip a month or two ahead. Not sure, but I have idea's planned out.


	12. Chapter 12

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 12- Luke (August 10th 8:06 P.M)

* * *

Jess and I were sitting at the dinner table, eating in silence. My cell phone was set on the table in front of me, as I waited for it to ring. Lorelai had told me she had big town news and she couldn't wait to tell me. She made a promise to call me around eight, going on and on about how crazy the news is and stuff but when I asked her why she couldn't tell me then, she hung up. The work with that woman, sometimes. 

"You're pathetic," Jess said, shaking his head.

"Shut up," I grumbled, stabbing a tomato violently with my fork. Jess can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

"She has you whipped, and you're not even in the same town, let alone the same state." He stated, pointing a finger at me directly as if he just proved a point.

"She does not have me whipped." I said indignity, trying to ignore the sensation overpowering me to beat him.

"Oh yes, she does," He said with a smirk plastered on his face, reclining back in his chair.

"Like you wouldn't be doing this to Rory," I shot at him, watching his face flash with anger and regret, but then immediately cover up with a stone cold expression.

"At least I've kissed a Gilmore girl," He shot back. I knew Rory was still a touchy subject with him, that's why I hadn't spoken up about Rory's recent summer escapades.

"I've kissed a Gilmore girl," I told him and then watched his face turn to surprise then repulsion.

"You've kissed Rory!" He accused, his voice filled with horror, mirroring the same expression on his face.

"What! No!" I yelled, dropping my fork to the plate and ignoring the loud clatter it made. "How on earth could you think that?" I asked, my voice dripping with disgust.

"Well she's smart, beautiful, tall, has her mother's eyes." He added in a mocking tone.

"That's sick," I mumbled, trying to get the thought he pushed into my head, out.

"Like mother, like daughter," He said in a sing-song voice, collecting his nearly empty plate and discarding the left-over's in the trash. He came over and sat down in his same seat as earlier, clasped his hands tightly together and leaned forward towards me. "So you've kissed Lorelai." He concluded.

Reluctantly, I nodded, watching his expression change and an annoying smile appear on his face.

"So, every time you go back to the Hollow, it's to get a little something?" He said suggestively.

I frowned disgustingly and shook my head. "For your information," I said through gritted teeth. "We've decided to act like it never happened." Though I disagree.

"You mean she decided to act like it never happened?" He corrected.

Just as I was about to answer, my cell phone rang and I snatched it quickly, sending Jess a glare in the process. "Hello," I snapped, still annoyed by the questions and statements Jess was making.

"You okay?" Lorelai asked with a small laugh.

"Yeah I'm fine, it's just Jess," I mumbled, heading upstairs into my room.

"Ah," I heard her say knowingly, but I was in no mood to call her on it.

"So, you said you have news?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Ah yes!" She said and I could see the smile appearing on her face. "Me and Rory are talking again, she'll be back on Monday!" She announced brightly.

"That's great, I told you she'd come around eventually," I said, smiling softly.

"And that's not all; apparently Lindsay found out and kicked Dean out," She said in an intrigued voice.

"Really," I stated unsurely. "Does Rory know?"

"I just haven't been able to tell her. We just began talking again and I don't want her to scare her off by bringing him up," She said miserably, "Do I let her find out when she gets home or tell her over the phone?" She whined into the phone.

"Just wait 'til she gets home," I said, thinking it was the better option.

"Yeah, I was thinking that but I just don't want it to backfire and her to get mad at me for not telling her," She sounded so desperate for an answer and I hated that I had nothing to say. "Anyway," She said a little too brightly. "There's one more piece of town news."

"Really?" I asked, sounding intrigued as I sat down on the edge of my bed, phone tucked under my chin with both my hands supporting me up.

"There's supposedly a new guy moving to town,"

"So?" I asked, confused. I knew there weren't many new people in the town but no one ever made a fuss about it.

"Well," She began hesitantly. "That's not it." I heard her take in a deep breath and I was actually anxious to know.

"What else? Is he a veteran of war or something?" I asked, not really understanding why she was making a big deal.

"Taylor said he might be opening a small café. Not a diner, a café." She let out in one breath.

"What? But Luke's was always the only diner in town." I asked, not really believing her. "It'll be opened back up in a year, is Taylor really going to let this happen?" Could he do that? I was furious. The diner was the only main establishment that sold eatable food and now I was going to have competition.

"I know, I know, but Taylor said a year is too long and that the guy has the ability to open whatever he wants. Believe me, so many people were sticking up for you, but it's Taylor." She said desperately. I knew she was right and I knew she felt bad but still. This was going to suck.

"So what are you going to do?" She asked in a timid tone.

"Truthfully, I have no clue. Pray for Liz to get better soon? I don't know," I sighed, allowing myself to fall back on the bed.

"I know," She said suddenly. I was actually so desperate; I was ready to go along with what she said.

"What?" I sighed, ready to give up.

"I could run the diner!" She suggested brightly, and I could just picture her bright smile as she actually thought this idea was great.

I snorted in disbelief. "Right, and then who's going to take care of it once you burn the place down or kill all the customers?" I asked rhetorically, but apparently, she didn't know.

"I'll just be a waitress; I'll have Caesar cook or Sookie!" I knew she was actually serious and just the thought of Lorelai and Sookie was scaring the hell out of me.

"No, the only reason people come to Luke's isn't for Sookie or Caesar's cooking, it's mine." I reminded her.

"Right," She said instantly remembering. "Then you could-"

I cut her off, not ready to heat it. "I'll just have to wait until I get back." I decided in a firm voice, not really waiting to discuss this anymore.

"Are you sure?" She asked timidly.

"I'm fine- just, keep me posted, okay?" I asked tiredly.

"Yeah, I'll talk to you later," She said softly. "I know this sucks, Luke, I'm sorry," Her voice was so sincere that I actually felt bad for making her think I was annoyed by her.

"You don't have to be, I'll talk to you soon?" I asked, trying to sound reassuring.

"I'll call on Thursday?"

"I'll talk to you then," I told her with a smile. After we both said goodbye, I shut the phone and tossed it across the room. I moved back up against the headboard and dropped my head o my hands. A café in Stars Hollow? Who the hell would put a café in Stars Hollow? That's why they have a diner, given the fact it isn't open but it will be, eventually. This was going to suck, his food better suck.

I heard a knock at the door and I sat up, trying to push the thoughts out of my head. "What?" I called out, annoyed.

Jess poked his head through the door, a smirk already plastered on his face. "How's your woman?" He asked, smiling.

"Shut up." I mumbled, not ready to get into this again with him.

"What? She got you all hot and bothered?" He asked, again still smirking.

"Jess," I warned, ready to get up and punch him. I watched him back up and slowly shut the door, though the smirk was still present.

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Authors Note- I know, it sucks but I needed to fill it in. I think this story will last about 20 chapters, still not sure. I actually have a new story idea planned out but it won't be posted until this is near the end.

I need reviews. Please, I am begging you.


	13. Chapter 13

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 13- Lorelai (August 14th 4:15 P.M)

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God, I was sick of this heat wave we were having. The guest weren't coming that much, wanting o stay in a cooler place or a place with tons of attractions like Disney. Not only that but Taylor's ice cream shoppe had a broken freezer so all the ice cream was melting or already had. 

I was walking past Plum Street when I noticed some construction on the other side of the road. It must be that stupid café, I thought, instantly feeling bad for Luke. And then the thoughts of Luke mixed with the high temperature started causing bad thoughts that included me, him, and a shower.

Just as I tried to brush the thought out of my head, I stumbled of the sidewalk and right into someone's back. "Sorry," I mumbled, embarrassed, feeling as if everyone was staring at me and reading my dirty thoughts.

"Nah, its fine," Said a guy. A very cute guy, by the way.

"Yeah, well, it's my fault. I've been deprived of coffee and coolness." I said awkwardly.

"Coolness?" He asked, trying to suppress a grin.

"My handy man moved and the air conditioner's working so I have to wait until the guys come to fix it and who knows when that'll be, considering the fact I called them about a week ago." I stopped my incessant rambling just long enough to notice his amused expression. "I'm Lorelai," I introduced myself, trying to change the topic.

"Darren," He said, holding a hand out, which I gladly shook. "Are you from around here?" He asked, gesturing around the town with widespread arms.

"Yeah, actually I own the new Dragonfly Inn," I told him, subtly trying to get the word out about my most prized possession.

"Yeah, I've heard of it. Sounds nice." He commented. "I just moved here, actually. This is going to be my café." He said, pointing to the center point behind all the construction going on.

I tried to put on an impressed grin, though on the inside I felt horrible. Should I remain loyal to Luke, my chuppah-building best friend and walk away? Or just stay put and see where the conversation ends up.

When he flashed a smooth grin at me, I decided upon the ladder.

"So, what made you choose to open a café?" I asked casually.

"I don't know, I couldn't choose anything else and when I decided to move to this town last month I noticed there weren't many food eateries." He said proudly, though shrugging as if it were no big deal.

"There was a diner," I interjected carelessly, though I had the thought that maybe with my hair flip I could get the guy to switch occupations.

"Yeah I heard," He said with a half-laugh, half-scoff. "The proprietor was a really ass. No manners, always yelling and barking at the customers. Never participating in any events around town and had no people skills." He said, smiling at me with what he thought I'd agreed with.

Instead I shot him an incredulous glare. "Who the hell told you that?" I spat, feeling protective for Luke, for some reason. I told myself it was because we were friends, good friends. Even though in my subconscious I knew if he were just a friend, I'd agree with Darren and play along, hoping to get a date for the evening or a relationship for a month or more.

He looked taken aback and immediately shot his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Heard it through the grapevine." He said nonchalantly. "What, you sleeping with him or something?" He asked with a small laugh.

"What?" I asked, my eyes widening in discomfiture. "No, he's just- he's my friend. Best friend." I corrected, stumbling over the words ungracefully.

"So you're single?" He asked, not-so-subtly changing the topic with a wry grin plastered on his face.

My face must have been so distorted. Mixed up of shock, confusion, anger, surprise, and incredulity. Is this his way of asking me out? "What?" I sputtered, barely believing this guy.

"You're single?" He asked again, faking a look of innocence.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go on a date with you," I said with an acidic laugh. I mean, he was making Luke sound like an ass. "I'd rather go out with Kirk, and that's saying something." I gave him a pathetic shake-of-the-head and sighed, readjusting my purse on my shoulder and began to head home- the route I had been on before I met Darren.

His coffee probably sucked, too.

* * *

It was Saturday and the last time I had called Luke was Thursday, that meant it was time to call him. I grabbed the remote off the coffee table and hit the mute button, so I wouldn't be too distracted on the phone but just enough.

I leaned over the back of the couch and grabbed the phone off the top of the laundry basket. Why the basket was there, I had no clue. I pressed the 4 and immediately held it between my chin and shoulder, getting up to grab a water in the kitchen.

"You're calling early," He noted, sounding relaxed and nonchalant.

"Yeah, I got out of work a little early today. Sookie thought I was overworking myself." I said, not even fazed by Sookie's cautiousness towards me. I mean sometimes she acts as if I'm a pregnant woman who's going to overwork herself into premature labor.

"Well have you?" He asked knowingly.

"It's a new business!" I defended. "We need to have people working to make sure it's to its top level of perfection,"

"I know, I know. I ran a business before, I know how it works but I don't want you to overwork yourself into exhaustion. And neither does Sookie." He added, and I noticed how well he took care of me, and cared for me.

"Oh yeah, by the way, I'm boycotting the new café." I informed him, taking a swig out of the bottle and resuming myself on the couch; phone still clipped under my chin and the remote back in my hands.

"And why is that?" He asked curiously.

"The guy's an ass. His name is Darren." I told him vaguely, hoping not to get into the details as I flipped by the cooking channel. It was Emeril. He was flipping some type of fish into the air with a pan and I was so fascinated by the ways of cooking, I barely heard Luke asking me for more in-depth information.

"He was just a jerk. And he asked me out." I told him, trying to leave out the part out of him talking Luke down.

"But you're not going?" He asked, unconvinced.

"Nah, the guy was too full of himself, it seemed and, I don't know there was just something about him," I said plainly, shrugging my shoulders for emphasis though he couldn't see.

"Good," He said, sounding reassured.

"Good?" I asked, smiling at his slip-up.

"Well," He said nervously. "You know, you sleeping with the proprietor of my competition, it might ruin our friendship." He stated, but it sounded a bit like a question at the end.

"Right," I said, this time smiling at his logic.

There was a pause in the conversation in which I was engrossed in watching Emeril fry and sauté the fish. Now I know I can't cook but that's why the cooking channel is so much fun. Because i know I'll never, in my life, be able to do that.

"So apparently, Liz's job working at the renaissance fair was just a summer thing," He began, pausing briefly to make sure I heard him. "Now they want me to sell jewelry in an actual store," He said with fake cheerfulness.

"No," I gasped in disbelief. Luke actually selling bracelets and necklaces in an actual store, where tons of women will end up asking him what looks better on her and stuff. That's priceless.

"Yup," He sighed. "I start on Wednesday, lucky me." He mumbled.

"Well, think of the bright side," I said, trying to sound cheerful.

"And that is?" He asked dryly, fully knowing I had no bright side.

"Well," I said, trying to make my voice strong as if I had a point to make. "There's no costumes," I stated, but it sounded more like a pathetic question.

"I didn't even wear the costumes," He said flatly.

"I know," I said, wrinkling up my nose in frustration.

As I was trying to think up a better reason for Luke to work in a store, and kept my eye on Emeril, I heard an ear-piercing scream, jolting me out of my thoughts. "What the hell was that?" I breathed out, trying to ease my rapid beating heart.

"That was Liz," Luke said with what I could picture a wry and annoyed smile.

"Is she okay? Was she shot?" I asked, completely wide-eyed in terror.

"No, she's just hungry." He told me in a patient tone.

"How on earth can you live with that?" I questioned. "Can't she get her own food?" I asked skeptically.

"Oh, believe me. I'm ready to kill her. She is so using me to tend to every single one of her freaking needs." He said in a tight voice.

"Well, I'll let you go then," I said warily. "Talk to you Monday," I added before clicking off the phone.

And I thought it was hell for him to just accept my annoying antics and pleads for coffee daily.

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-Authors Notes-

So many reviews. Thank you so much. If you haven't noticed, the more reviews I get, the faster I update.

I know I write better in Lorelai's POV. It's just easier to be more descriptive by her and with Luke, he's tough to write about, that's why the chapters with his POV usually suck and are short.

'Grats to all you who thought Darren was going to be cute. I've had so many different ways to take this I had to choose one. I hope you like it though.


	14. Chapter 14

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher

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Chapter 14- Luke (August 20th 6:21 P.M)

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I was sitting in Liz's jewelry shop, playing solitaire on the computer. Jess had stopped by earlier and noticed my boredom and pointed it out. He said he used to play it whenever he had free time at his old job. Then made some comment about me being old and not 'in' the new technology. 

That's when the phone rang. Not the business' phone. That one hadn't rung the entire time I've spent in the shop. My cell phone was ringing and of course- it was Lorelai.

"Hey," I said plainly as I flipped open the phone and adjusted it on my left shoulder.

"Oh, hey," She said in a somewhat cheerful, yet nervous voice.

"You okay?" I asked with a chuckle as I finished the stack of aces on the computer.

"Yeah, I guess, it was just- I talked to Darren today," She said bluntly.

"Oh?" I asked, surprised. We hadn't really brought him up since last Saturday when she mentioned him but still, when she did, I actually felt a pang of jealousy. And she wasn't even mine to claim.

"Yeah. He was sorry for being an ass and then he tried to ask me out, again." She said annoyed, but I could hear the some-what flattery in her voice.

"You going?" I asked, barely paying attention to her and focusing on where to put the seven of diamonds on the computer. Didn't she know I hated it when she walked about other men? I knew that I would put up a front but usually she was the only one who would really see through it.

"Nope," She sighed. "I was thinking about it, but I didn't want to. Just the fact that he thought I'd go out with him after everything he said- I just didn't want to. He's nice, though, he's from Hartford, I heard. Wonder if he knows the Gilmore's?" She questioned aloud, probably not even noticing my silence.

"How are they?" I asked, catching the last part of her ode to Darren. I knew that her parents weren't on the best of terms and I knew this was hard for her, but it was something she wouldn't talk about with me.

"My dad's living in the pool house," She said in mock-happiness.

"They actually have a pool house big enough for someone to live in?" I asked, completely bemused by the amount of money they had.

"Of course," She said, as if I should know this. "They're the Gilmore's what don't they have?"

"Beat's me," I mumbled, just about to finish the game.

"God, it's so freakin' hot here lately," She whined loudly into the phone as I rolled my eyes at her dramatics.

"Put on your air conditioner," I instructed, just finishing up a game as an old woman walked in, probably about sixty.

"It's broken," I could practically see her pouting over the phone.

"Then get it fixed," I told her, watching the lady's reactions to all of Liz's weird accessories. Sometimes it would be interest, other times it would be looks of horror and amusement. God, Liz needed a new hobby.

She scoffed. "You, Luke Danes, are telling me to pay for someone to actually fix my appliances?" Her tone was teasing and I could just picture her bewildered expression on her face. The way she would wrinkle her nose and her eyes glow a light blue. Damn, I missed her.

"Well, if you need to get out of the heat, then, yes, I am suggesting that," I told her, rolling my eyes even though she couldn't see it.

"Actually Darren offered to fix it," She said casually.

Another pang in the chest. "How'd he know it was broken?" I asked, trying not to let my hurt, disappointment, and annoyance show.

"I said something about it being broken and the heat, he offered to fix it earlier today, actually." She told me, again, like it didn't even faze her. God, what was this guy doing? Trying to replace me in every way?

The strange old lady walked over with something in her hands. "Hold on," I mumbled into the phone.

"What you got a sweet lady friend over there?" She asked playfully, already knowing about the failure of Liz's business so far.

"Oh yeah, blonde, sexy, tall, and man those eyes," I mussed in fake fascination. "You know I might actually have my way with her right here, right now," I deadpanned.

When I looked up at the lady I saw the horrifying expression plastered on her face and sighed, the things that woman made me say.

"Not you," I remarked.

"Not me, what?" Lorelai asked confused on the other side of the phone.

"I'm not talking to you," I told her, setting the phone down on the table to I wouldn't have to listen to her. I turned my attention to the woman who still looked offended in someway. "What?" I asked, trying not to roll my eyes.

"Um, what is this?" She asked cautiously, holding out a giant piece of string with beads and rocks and something that looked like macaroni on it.

I stared at it for a second, asking myself the same question. "I have no clue," I finally decided, while wondering how on earth Liz could get a license to actually sell these things.

"Oh, okay," She answered somewhat puzzled and with that, she walked away, tossing the item on the shelf on her way out.

"Okay, I'm back," I said, picking the phone up again.

"So, I was thinking," She started off, but I immediately interrupted her.

"Never a good thing," I interjected flatly.

She ignored me and continued on. "I think I deserve a dog,"

I made a half-laugh-half-choke kind of sound at her suggestion. "No really, what is it?" I asked, trying my best to stifle a chuckle.

"No, I'm serious. I was never a cat person and then with me getting older, I realized that I'm single and lonely with my daughter at Yale, my best friend in Maine and my other friend has a kid and a family." She explained, trying to make some good points.

"You'd kill it in a week," I remarked.

I heard her gasp, extra-loudly, might I add. "I would not," She disagreed.

"What about your turtle you had?" I asked knowingly with a smirk showing on my face and evident in my tone.

"That was a long time ago," She said through gritted teeth.

"It was supposed to outlive you and you had it for what? A month? Two months?" I commented. It was a wonder Rory hadn't died years ago.

"Fine, I wont get one, yet." She added hopefully, but was probably dejected by my silence. "Ugh," She groaned loudly as I heard her get up on the other side of the phone. "Stupid door!" She called out loud enough for whoever was on the other side could hear her.

"Hey, I'm just gonna," I said, letting the sentence fade at the end, assuming she had things to do.

"No, just hold on, I have to tell you a little about Rory first," She added, knowing that I would stay on the line to know what's been going on with her lately.

After a couple minutes of silence on her end, she picked up and had a smile in her voice. "I got a package!" She said excitedly.

"A package?" I asked, trying not to let it show I knew what it was. Because I had sent it and I knew she needed some of it.

"Yeah, addressed to Lorelai Gilmore, that's me,"

"Then open it," I said, trying not to sound too forceful.

"I wonder who it's from," She said as I heard the box rip open. Obviously she hadn't read the return address. "Oh! Oh! A card, there's a card." She mused.

"What's it say?" I asked, leaning back in the chair I had been sitting in for almost the past seventy two hours.

"Luke," She murmured softly, obviously touched.

"It says, 'Luke'?" I asked, feigning confusion.

Ignoring my comment, she continued on. "You now you didn't have to get me anything, it's not even my birthday." She said warmly.

"I know, think of it as a belated congratulations on opening the Dragonfly or something," I said timidly.

"Hold on let me see what's in here." She said, beginning to take everything out of the box. "A disposable camera," She said, somewhat questionably.

"You never know when you'll need a camera, and make sure to send me pictures of Rory and stuff. I miss her." I explained, trying to swallow my nervousness.

"A bag of coffee grains," She added, confused.

"I had a feeling you've been deprived of the best coffee on the eastern seaboard so I sent a little in a bag," I said, as my face flushed and I began to thank God she couldn't see me.

"Really?" She asked, surprised and excited. She didn't give me another chance to answer before proceeding to the final gift. "Okay, what's next," She mumbled and then gasped sort of, "A box, a long, thin, black velvet box," She announced, somewhat speechless. "Luke," She said in an astonished, yet objective tone.

"Open it," I instructed softly. This was the one thing I was nervous about. I had seen it at the store when I had to pick something up for Liz and it screamed 'Lorelai'. When I decided to send it to her, I figured I might as well send her some other things she might find useful.

I heard her muffled gasp in surprise ring through the phone as I pictured, what I hoped to be, a look of surprise on her face. "It's beautiful," She stated awestruck.

I smiled at her lack of words and mentally tried to picture her opening up the box and seeing her eyes glaze over the silver chain and the small dragonfly-shaped charm made of diamond looped around it. "You like it?" I asked with a small smile.

"I love it," She breathed out quietly. After a second or two, apparently she was able to begin to form sentenced again. "You shouldn't have done this," She protested weakly, a dazed tone still lingering.

"You deserved it; you finally opened your inn. It's all yours, and partially Sookie's, but you made you dream come true and I'm proud of you." I told her in a sincere and firm voice. Because she deserved it, she really did, with having to raise a little girl at the age of sixteen by herself and barely ever having any time for herself, she deserved it more than a lot of other people did.

"Thank you," She said genuinely and I could hear the smile floating in her voice.

After I told her she was welcome, I was about to ask her about Rory. She had said their was news earlier and I had made a promise that I would stay in the loop with their lives and I wasn't going to stop now.

"Oh, um, Luke, I have to go, I've got someone calling," She said clearly trying not to stutter.

"Oh yeah? Who is it?" I asked, not that curious, just more like bored and having nothing better to do. Because, seriously, if Jess didn't hurry and come back tell me it was time to close shop and give me a ride back in my truck- that he had "borrowed" from me- I might just end up stabbing myself in the eye with a pencil.

"Oh, you know, just Connie Chung calling, she wants her original face back," She babbled nervously, making it really apparent she didn't want to tell me something.

"What?" I asked, completely confused by the reference.

"It's, um. It's Darren, now I, uh, have to go, but I'll talk to you Sunday?" She asked in a rushed voice.

I numbly said my good-bye and heard the phone click off.

Right when I think the two of us could actually get closer, he shows up.

I actually thought I could show her that to me it wasn't a mistake, that night we kissed. If I could slowly show her that I wanted more from her, maybe she'd reciprocate the feeling. But of course, she found a way around that.

I know that if he wasn't as full of himself as she said he was, she would have dated him. She would have gone out with him and proved to me that the kiss meant nothing, It was obvious, a fluke if you will. I was positive.

She's a very confusing woman, I'll tell you that. Always sending mixed signals and emotions. Like whenever I have a girlfriend (or wife), she suddenly acts somewhat jealous and possessive. Then she'll start acting different towards me and start drifting away from me, not as close as we usually were. But then, once I'm single again, all I seem to be is a guy who pours her coffee and the shoulder she cries on.

I just still don't understand why she ran.

How the hell do you bring up a subject like that? About something that happened over six weeks ago? Should I just pick up the phone and ask her why she ran? Or would I sound like a possessive friend who is only acting on his feelings because he's afraid he'll lose his last chance at being more than friends with his best friends.

Damn, this was a very confusing situation. Thank God Jess arrived. I sighed and pushed my way up off the chair, grabbing my cell phone and dropping it into my front pocket. I made my way over to the door, flipped the switch that quickly shut the lights off, leaving me in the only light shedding off from the headlights of my truck as I locked up.

I still had a lot of thinking to do. About her. About me. About us and whatever our relationship- if that's what you could call it- meant to her.

**

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**

**Authors Note- I** think I'll have the next chapter up by Sunday.

I'll need reviews to update sooner. Thanks to all of you who reviewed, though.

Can you believe it's over? Only two episodes left and the only time we'll see our beloved Gilmore Girls is in the stupid reruns. Not L/L baby, not L/L wedding. No Rory finding 'the one'. This sucks. But I have to say, Lauren Graham's performance on Tuesday's episode while singing was amazing. I've listened to it about fifty times.


	15. Chapter 15

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

* * *

Chapter 15- Lorelai (August 28th 10:14 A.M)

* * *

I would like to dedicate this chapter to MoonlightGardenias because she gave me the idea for this chapter.

* * *

There was something definitely off with him, I noticed as I hung up my cell phone with a confused look placed upon my face. Lately he just seemed so, _off. _Like he couldn't wait to get off the phone with me. It was just, not Luke. Damn, I must have done something wrong. I certainly didn't mean to, given the fact that I had absolutely no clue what the hell I did. 

During the last four calls, especially the one I had just hung up on, his side of the conversation seemed so forced and he seemed so awkward. And earlier when I asked what was up with him, he abruptly mumbled something about having to go and hung up.

I sighed and threw the cell phone my hand was clutching into my purse and gathered all my papers Michel needed me to sign into one neat pile in my right hand as my left hitched the purse I was holding over my shoulder.

I needed to fix this. I was going on a road trip to Maine.

* * *

"Hey, Rory?" I called out somewhat urgently as I entered the house. After Rory got back we had talked, a lot, and we came to the conclusion that she was staying with me for the rest of the summer before going back to Yale.

"Mom?" She asked, surprised, as she came out of the kitchen with a half eaten tub of ice cream in her hand. "Shouldn't you be at work?" She asked, baffled, as she watched me search through the drawers in desk that was in the hall.

"Yes," I told her, still looking frantically throughout the desk.

"And you aren't there because?" She asked slowly, letting the sentence hang.

I turned to her, smiling crazily and told her my amazingly untought-out plans. "I'm going on a road trip!" I announced excitedly.

"Are you having a mid-life crisis?" She asked in a scared voice as she set her ice cream down and walked over to me slowly and grabbing my hand to guide me over to the couch.

"No, I just- do you know where I put Luke's address?" I asked, trying to sound casual, though I knew Rory would read along the lines.

"You're going to Maine?" She asked surprised.

"Well, yeah," I shrugged, as I tried to get up and walk over to the desk, but again, Rory pulled me back to the couch.

"Why? Is Luke okay? Is it Liz? Is she getting worse? Is she dead? Oh my god, how's Luke taking it? I bet he's depressed," She said hurriedly, not allowing me to slip in a word at all. I watched her face flash with distress and sadness and I felt bad for even letting her think this had happened.

"Honey," I said, smiling sympathetically and resting a hand on her hunched shoulder. "Liz is fine and as far as I know, so is Luke. He's just been a little distant and quiet lately and the inn isn't that busy so I decided what the hell, I've never been to Maine, why not go and visit Luke," I told her, this time getting up and successfully walking over to the desk.

"Oh," She said, convinced by my lack of reason. "You know, I don't think you put it in the desk," She told me as she walked over and leaned against the wall next to me.

I looked up at her and pushed myself off the ground, giving her a questioning look.

"Didn't you store it under your pillow?" She asked in a knowingly vague tone accompanied with a small smile.

I tried to scoff at the assumption, but it came out as a throaty-choke-like-sound. "I did not," I told her indignantly as I climbed the stairs that led to my room.

I heard her steps following my and I could hear the smile that shone in her voice. "Oh yeah? Then why are you going upstairs?" She asked, trying to tease me.

"I," I said, spinning around to face her abruptly, causing her to almost stumble and fall down the stairs. "Am going to pack for my unexpected road trip." I told her, turning back around to continue up the stairs.

"So if I checked under your pillow, I wouldn't just happen to find a former diner owners number and address?" She asked mockingly as we walked into my room.

"Well you might, but you also just might find some things you'll regret later on," I told her with an intrigued voice and mischievous smile.

I heard her footsteps stop suddenly as she paused in thought. I smiled at her confusion and not even five seconds later she groaned in disgust. "That's gross, I don't even want to know,"

"Well maybe I'll tell you when you're twenty-one," I told I searched for a bag-like item to hold my stuff.

"I still won't want to know when I'm twenty-one." She said to me determinedly and still slightly grossed out.

"Stop thinking about what's under that pillow and help me pack," I told her teasingly, as I whipped a bag at her from the back of my closet and turned around just in time to see it almost hit the lamp next to my bed. "Rory!" I scolded in a mock-frustrated tone.

"Yes, mother?" She questioned tiredly from the dresser that contained my pajama's.

"You were supposed to catch that," I said, pretending to be ticked off as I gestured to the bag.

"What on earth possessed you to think that I would actually catch that?" She asked flatly as she walked over and placed a pair of sweatpants and tank-top in the bag.

Ignoring her response, I walked over with a pair of jeans in my hand and swiped the sweatpants out of her hand. "Not these," I told her, handing them to her as I put the jeans into the confines of the bag,

"Why not?" She asked puzzled, still holding the pants in her hands.

I grabbed them from her and walked over to the dresser containing my other pajama's, "Because I've worn it in front of him already," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"You wore pants in front of Luke that had sexy printed on the butt?" She asked smiling.

"You were going to let me wear pants in front of Luke that had 'sexy' printed on the butt?" I shot back, trying not to allow my face to flush. I still hadn't told Rory about all the times me and Luke had spent together over the summer.

She apparently let the comment slide because she came up with yet another question. "When did Luke see you in those pants?"

"Oh, you know," I said, trying to sound dismissively as I went around and looked for a shirt for tomorrow.

"No, actually, I don't. But I would like to be informed," She said, walking back over to my pajama drawer.

"Well over the summer, Luke spent a couple nights at the inn and we watched movies together in his room and I just happen to be wearing those pants," I said, vaguely, not allowing myself to tell Rory any other details.

"Really?" She said, intrigued.

"Yeah," I shrugged, acting as if that were it.

She gave me a look over and eyes me suspiciously. "Okay." She drew out slowly.

"Hey," I said suddenly. "Do you want to come with me?" I asked with a smile.

"Sorry," She said sympathetically. "I have to pack and stuff, you know Yale starts in about a week,"

"Yeah, and you still have a whole week to pack, come on the trip with me," I suggested again. "This time, we'll remember the music and it will be even better than last time,"

"Nah, I'd rather not," She said uncomfortably, causing my suspicions to rise a little.

"And why is that?" I asked, sitting on the bed to stuff the blue shirt and black overcoat into the bag that the space inside was growing smaller, it seemed, by the second.

"Well, you know," She said, shrugging awkwardly as she grabbed a pair of socks and underwear from my dresser, slowly bringing it over to me.

"No, I don't actually," I told her, trying to subtly reach under my pillow to grab Luke's address without letting Rory see.

She mumbled something incoherently and sat down next to me, folding the underwear nervously and unnecessarily.

I gently placed my hand on hers and took the flimsy piece of black silk out of her hands to put in my bag. "What?" I asked, softly, trying to understand her nervousness.

"Jess," She blurted out, startling me.

"Jess?" I asked, confused. "Oh, right, Jess," I repeated, understanding her uneasiness.

"Yeah, we didn't end on such great terms last time so," She shrugged and stood up, trying to act normal.

"Right the 'I love you then escape in the car', thing," I mumbled, following in suit and standing up beside her.

"That wasn't the last time," She told me, facing the dresser while collecting some necessary essentials like a brush and minor make-up that wasn't included in my purse.

"What?" I said, stopping my place abruptly.

"The night I ha my last final at Yale, he was on his way to Maine and he ended up stopping by." She told me quietly. "He asked me to come with him to Maine and we could get our own place. He told me he loved me and that if I didn't love him, he'd leave and wouldn't bother me again," She explained, walking back and forth from the dresser to the bad.

"Wow," I said, floored by her declaration. "And you didn't go," I said stated obviously, trying to get over the fact she hadn't told me.

"I didn't go," She agreed with a nod, the meaning behind the fact is that she's done with Jess, and she doesn't love him. Thank God!

"Okay," I said, deciding it was time to change the subject. "I'm going to get some last minute things in the bathroom while you finish up in here. It's like a four hour ride, I think, so if I want to spend any time there tonight, I better hurry up." I told her, hurrying out in the hall to release a breath of relief. Though she picked Dean, a married man, it wasn't Jess.

* * *

"Okay, bye kid, I'll probably be home late tomorrow, but I'll call you if there's any change of plans." I told her as I threw the bag higher over my shoulder.

"Okay." She nodded, though still seeming a little off ever since our conversation about Jess.

"Why don't you invite Lane over tonight? You guys haven't spent much time lately," I suggested. "Talk, catch up, have a couple beers and throw a party."

"I'll think about it," She said with a small smile. "Have fun, and tell Luke I said hi," She reminded me, again.

"I will, bye hun," I told her with a small hug, then I was off to Maine.

* * *

As soon as I was on the road, mapquest directions sprawled out on the passenger seat beside me and the radio on; I started to contemplate what I was going to do once I got there. I hadn't really thought this out well. The only complete thought I had was to see what was going on with Luke. But now I was wondering where I was going to stay, if he was mad at me, would he even talk to me? By the time I got there, he'd probably be at work. So I decided that I would stop by and see what was up with him before anything else.

* * *

As I turned onto Oakwood lane, the street name Luke had let slip out in one of his rants during a phone call, I noticed the building set back a little, small and shady. No wonder why no one shopped there. It was sort of scary looking, though there actually seemed to be a customer or two parked out front.

I pulled the jeep up to the curb and sat in the silence. I finally took a deep breath, released it somewhat steadily and got up and out of the car, throwing my purse over my shoulder in the process as well as checking my hair in the rearview mirror.

I tried to walk casually up to the door but the inside of me was screaming with anticipation. I hadn't seen Luke, my best friend, since June. And I had missed him, a lot. As I approached the door I noticed Luke leaning against the counter, smiling. At another woman.

My heart clenched tightly and I sucked in an involuntary breath. He was smiling at another woman. He seemed to be flirting with her, too. He wasn't supposed to flirt with other woman. Especially tall, blonde ones that seemed to be reciprocating the feelings and oh my god did he just touch her arm? Now I felt hurt, like he betrayed me for some reason.

Jealous actually seemed to be an understatement, and I was admitting it freely.

I tried to recover quickly, setting on a brave and determined face as I braced myself to open the door. Hopefully ruining their moment together, I though bitterly as the door swung open, startling the two of them and ending their conversation immediately.

"Lorelai," Luke noted gapingly, as I nodded silently, slowly walking over to the counter. "Wh-what are you doing here?" He sputtered, confused.

"I came to see you," I told him with a shrug, acting as if it was nothing.

"But- why?" He asked a skeptic look on his face, mirroring his tone.

"Well," I began, trying not to let my nervousness show, or stare at the woman who was eyeing me suspiciously too long, "You've been distant lately and I haven't seen you since June and the inn was slow so I decided, why not go and visit Luke?" I explained while fingering the necklace he had sent to me just over a week ago, hoping he would notice. He did.

"Oh," He said, tearing his glance away from me and looking at the woman in front of him. "Allie, this is my friend, Lorelai," Luke introduced, seeming rather reluctant.

"Hi," She said, ever so politely that it made me want to hit it. She was flirting with Luke. My Luke. No one but me was allowed to do that. She extended her hand and I begrudgingly accepted it.

"Hello," I said with a tight smile trying not to let my eyes shoot the daggers my mind was picturing at her.

"So I guess I'll see you around, Luke?" She asked, beginning to walk away, flashing him a smile what made me want to gag.

"Yeah, I'll, uh, see you around," He agreed a little distractedly.

They exchanged their good-byes and not a single word was uttered from me until the door was shut and she was gone. "What the hell was that?" I blurted out angrily, slapping him on the shoulder for emphasis.

"What was what?" He asked, seeming taken aback by my words as he rubbed his arm.

"You and her. Flirting. You can't flirt with her!" I yelled, hitting him again.

"And why is that?" He shot back. "Because she drives a Volvo? Because, lately, I don't know, I've been finding them revolting." He said, shrugging sarcastically.

"You just- can't." I yelled, frantically shaking my hands all over the place, hoping Luke would understand me.

"I can't," He repeated, looking smug at my loss of words. I glared at him and began pacing irritably in front of the counter, my gesturing hands flying everywhere.

"You're not supposed to flirt with her! Or any other woman as a matter of fact! It was me you kissed!" I cried out loudly, then instantly regretting it. I stopped in my tracks immediately, not even daring myself to look up at Luke. We had gone so long without mentioning it and now- I blew it.

"What?" He asked- him being stunned was just an understatement.

"Nothing," I mumbled, shaking my head and turning away so I could avoid him seeing the blush rise in my cheeks.

"You do know you're the one who ran away," He informed me in a defensive tone, though he sounded so calm about it. I hated that about him.

"Well you kissed me first!" I yelled, trying to remain calm but I couldn't. He was acting like it was my fault. And it wasn't. He started it.

"So since I kissed you and you ran away and we never talked about it, I can't go around and flirt with other women?" He asked, sounding amused as to how I could get myself out of this.

I turned around slowly and walked up to the counter, hoping to pout my way out of this conversation. I didn't have a clue what I was going to say- I mean, what do you say when your best friend kisses you then you run away. Oh yeah, and he also said he loved me. I could use that against him, I though firmly as I took my place directly in front of him. "Yes," I told him, trying to sound firm.

He looked shocked at my boldness. "But yet, you've flirted with me numerous times over the summer," He reminded me, wringing his hands nervously on a paper towel set on the counter.

"Huh, I guess I did," I confirmed, acting as if I just noticed. Truth be told, I had no idea what I was saying and I felt that at any second I'd throw up from the nerves.

He was staring at me in utter disbelief. I couldn't blame him, though, just seconds ago I was screaming and pacing and now I was calm and still, acting all casual. It was fun to mess with his head. "So," He began slowly, walking around the counter and leaning his back against it beside me, so close I could almost feel the heat radiating off his body. "If I can only flirt with you, why did you run away?"

That's the million dollar question. I had no clue why- it was probably because I didn't want change; I was scared of the consequences, and most likely, I was really confused. "I don't know," I mumbled quietly, not allowing myself to face him.

"You don't know," He repeated dumbly. I nodded numbly, vaguely aware of the seriousness of this conversation.

"Well, I was scared," I told him softly, allowing myself to be vulnerable for a second. I slowly turned my head to look at him and saw him looking at me, really looking at me. Like he was trying to remember every feature on my face. His eyes were so intently focused on my and his soft face seemed so relaxed. I instantly calmed my deliberately beating heart by focusing my eyes on his.

And then, he kissed me.

**

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**

Authors Note- I didn't expect it to end there, but it seemed a good place to stop. I thought I needed to clear a little up with Rory so I added her in, but I didn't mean to write so much. I promise the next chapter will be all Luke and Lorelai.

I decided to set a goal for myself. 200 reviews by the time the story ends. Help me make it all the way. And don't expect an update soon, I have no idea what the next chapter will be.

I wouldn't mind any suggestions so you have to review and tell me how you liked it. And remember- the more reviews means the faster the update.


	16. Chapter 16

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

* * *

Chapter 16- Luke (August 28th 4:32 P.M)

* * *

And then, I kissed her. 

Surprising, yes, I know. I wasn't even expecting it but then she was looking at me, looking small and regretful. And I took that leap; the one that I hoped would be different this time. I was pretty sure it was.

Lips softly set on lips and my right hand gently cupping her cheek, stroking her smooth skin to the rhythm of our lips melding together.

I tenderly set my other hand on her waist and fingered the hem of her shirt while at the same time I began to tug her closer to me. She obliged eagerly and gradually slipped her hands up my chest and linked them behind my neck, playfully tugging at the hairs poking out of the bottom of my hat.

I slid her bottom lip between mine and began teasing her incessantly with my tongue as I slid over and over it and bit at it playfully. She began to moan softly and pulled me closer than we were before while gradually parting her lips and prodding her tongue at mine.

As out tongues clashed and collided with each others and my hand played with her soft curls, breath became a necessity and we parted reluctantly.

"Wow," She breathed out, still standing in the same position with her hands laced together at the nape of my neck and eyes shut.

"Definitely," I agreed, trying to even my breath and savor the moment- just incase we have a repeat of last time, though I was trying not to dwell on it. I slowly began to untangle my hand from her hair and she must have taken that as a sign that I wanted her to move out of our embrace. Man, was she wrong.

"And there you go again," She pointed out softly, her breathing still hurried. Her eyes remained shut and I took that as a good sign. I pulled her hands into mine and began to knead at her soft skin with my thumbs, enjoying the feeling of her skin touching mine.

"You started it," I mumbled just loud enough for her to hear while still absentmindedly playing with her hands and fingers.

"How?" She asked skeptically, adding a scoff to her words as she opened her eyes up and raised an eyebrow.

"You came in here and got all territorial, you know, with your eyes shooting daggers at Allie," I told her, keeping a close watch on her reaction. "It's a total turn-on," I added with a smirk.

"I was not jealous," She stated firmly, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive manner.

"Well, you reciprocated pretty eagerly," I told her with mock sympathy. "I mean to a guy that was flirting with another woman just five minutes ago and then you start ranting on how he shouldn't flirt with other woman, you seemed it,"

"I was not jealous," She repeated in the same tone, only this time through clenched teeth. "I was simply caught off guard by your gesture and with your lips and tongue and talented mouth in whole, I practically had to respond." She explained patiently, though I could see the uneasiness in her swiftly moving eyes as they darted around the room at everything but me.

"My talented mouth?" I asked, feigning confusion as I dropped her hands and did my best to suppress a grin forming at my lips.

"You know," She began with a wistful expression. "With your lips and your tongue and when you did that thing with your-" She stopped abruptly after noticing my grin that had escaped and glared at me. "Stop being cocky," She demanded, pointing a finger at me as a distraction, most likely so that I would fail to notice the blush rising in her cheeks. I didn't.

"I was not being cocky," I explained, trying not to grin anymore, but completely failing at the attempt. "I was just repeating your great choice of words. You just happened to interpret them your own way,"

"Hey," She defended. "It was your lips on mine; I just let you do the work."

"Well at least I got you to stand still long enough for us to face the aftermath of the kiss together this time," I shot back, though wished I hadn't once I saw her face. It was heartbreaking to see her so full of regret and sadness.

She began to avert my gaze as I began to move towards her. I tenderly set my hand on her forearm, trying to will her to look up at me. "I didn't want to run," She admitted in a barely audible tone, sounding so remorseful.

"I know," I told her softly, though in truth, I had no clue why she had run. I slowly draped my arm across her shoulder and led her over to the counter to have her lean against while she explained.

"It was just-" She began, but swallowed nervously while finding a sudden interest in her shoes. "You were leaving and I didn't know what I was doing, it was just a blur and it all happened so quickly. I didn't know what to do so I ran. I didn't want to run, I wanted to stay with you but you were leaving and I didn't know what I was doing." She was babbling and I gently put my finger under her chin and lifted it up, looking directly into her eyes, ready to say something. But, she beat me to it. "I'm sorry," She concluded shyly, biting her lower lip as if she was scared of my reaction.

"I know," I repeated. "You never brought it up, though," I added, dropping my fingers back down to my side.

"Neither did you," She exclaimed defensively, moving around to the other side of me.

"Well, you ran away after we kissed, how was I supposed to bring it up?" I asked incredulously, throwing my hands up in the air.

"Well you could have called and just asked, 'Hey, Lorelai, what did that kiss mean to you?'" She said in rough voice in a poor attempt to impersonate me.

"And you couldn't have done that?" I asked rhetorically, shooting her doubtful look to at which she scowled at.

"And then I was sending some subtle hints that I was ready to reciprocate the feelings you had without bringing up the kiss, but did you notice?" She asked in an implausible tone. "Of course not!" She answered, slamming her fist down onto the counter. "Damn it!" She cried out, clutching her hand while clenching her eyes shut in agony.

"Are you okay?" I asked, trying to stifle the hint of amusement in my somewhat sympathetic and concerned tone. I walked briskly over to her and took her hand in mine, examining it thoroughly for any damage.

She inhaled sharply, taking her balled up fist out of my hand. "Stop laughing," She demanded forcefully through gritted teeth.

"I'm not laughing," I insisted, doing my best to stifle a chuckle. "It's just- are you sure you're okay?" I repeated again, feeling terrible for her.

"I guess," She sighed, trying not to grimace. "Why'd you have to make those counters so damn hard?" She exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the big block of marble next to her.

"Hey, don't blame me- I didn't make it," I said, throwing my hands up defensively in the air.

"But you did make me slam my hand down on the counter," She pointed out, glowering at me angrily. "I am putting all the blame on you, if there is any permanent damage done; I am making you pay for it!"

"I've already given you $30,000, what more do you want?" I asked, faking annoyance.

"So, why is it that you never acted on those subtle hints I sent you?" She asked after a couple blissful seconds of silence- squinting her eyes at me in a perplexed manner. "I've sent you many. I mean, for god's sake we slept in the same bed!" She cried out. "And then the short's? Why do you think I wore those? Because it was laundry day?" She got up and began pacing, again. God, this was probably the most exercise she'd gotten all summer.

"What shorts?" I asked, trying to play dumb, though I precisely remembered the grey cotton shorts that accented her curves and the dark blue lettering on the back that read 'sexy'. Like I could forget those, I thought, scoffing inwardly.

"Don't play stupid," She scoffed, "You know exactly what I'm talking about," She said, looking at me with an all-knowing look. Damn, I wish I could see those again on her.

"Well, how was I supposed to know it was intentional? For all I knew it could have been laundry day. And the bed thing? I just thought it was you being crazy and doing your best to try and annoy me." I explained, feeling a bit awkward with thoughts of Lorelai's legs in my mind.

"Well you just should, I mean, its common sense." She cries out, frustrated, as if I should know this.

"See- that only makes sense in your mind," I added wryly, though noticing it slip in one ear and out the other.

"This is just- crazy!" She exclaimed. "It was a kiss, one kiss-"

"Two, actually," I pointed out awkwardly.

"Two kisses and now all of a sudden we're standing in a jewelry shop screaming at each other about all the 'what if's' and 'what you should have done'." She cried out, irritated.

Suddenly, the door opened swiftly and the same elderly woman that was here just over a week ago during my conversation over the phone with Lorelai. "Can't you see we're busy!?" Lorelai asked, annoyed while gesturing between the two of us.

"Lorelai!" I scolded, feeling desperately awkward standing between the fuming Lorelai and the horrified old lady.

"Well we're not going to get anything done around here if we have her listening in!" She defended, throwing her hands at the still horror-struck woman.

"Well, she is a paying customer," I explained, putting the emphasis on paying. "And you know, we don't get that much of them, so we kind of need it,"

"No, Luke, I don't know," She said with a patient and determined face. Damn, it was getting pretty awkward with that woman watching us. She wasn't even looking around, just staring at us.

"What do you mean?" I asked, the annoyance evident in my voice as I discreetly looked over at the woman through the corner of my eyes, willing her to leave before the next Lorelai Gilmore outburst.

"The last four calls we've had you barely even talked to me," She explained with a desperate tone. "And then when I get here, you kiss me. That, my friend, are very mixed signals you are sending me. I mean, you act all monosyllabic over the phone, making me think I did something to upset you, and then I come here and you're all over me."

"I was not all over you," I protested. "And what do you mean I haven't been talking to you lately?" I asked, lying through my teeth. I had hoped it wasn't obvious that I couldn't get off the phone fast enough, it was just, the thought that Lorelai might be with another guy hurt. She was supposed to be mine, I thought selfishly, not his.

"Whenever I call, you say hi and then all of a sudden you make some lame excuse about having to leave, And you didn't even give me any indication that I did anything wrong, I mean, I could have at least apologized for whatever I did. Just tell me what I did wrong?" She pleaded in a desperate tone with her breath hitching slightly in the end. God, why did she have to make things so difficult?

"It was nothing, just something that Jess was bothering me with. Nothing important," I lied, not really up to expressing the truth at the moment as I shifted from my left foot to my right foot awkwardly.

"Are you sure?" She asked doubtfully, obviously feeling stupid for making the assumption.

"Yeah, it was nothing," I said, waving a hand dismissively at her, then I noticed the woman still standing there in the same place. I timidly leaned over towards Lorelai and nudged her towards the woman. "Why is she still standing there?" I whispered into her ear, trying to ignore the looks the woman was sending us.

"Maybe the cables out," She replied, seeming just as frightened as me. "Um, hello," She called out cautiously. "Do you need anything?"

"Well, I was wondering, do you happen to know the directions to get to Worcester Massachusetts?" She asked hesitantly, glancing nervously between Lorelai and me.

"You do know that that's a little far away, right?" Lorelai asked, blinking rapidly at her randomness. "At least three hours," She added.

"Three hours?" She asked, wide-eyed. "Are you sure?" She looked at the two of us intently, as if thinking we were lying just to get her out.

I nodded weakly, agreeing with Lorelai. "Is that all?" I asked, sighing, shifting my feet while trying to ignore the looks she was sending me.

"You know, if you keep up that attitude, it will no longer be a mystery why you two don't get any business. You could at least try and be friendly." She said haughtily, turning away briskly and stomping out the door.

"Well that was random," Lorelai stated, breaking the awkward silence.

"No kidding," I agreed, craning my neck to see where that woman had gone. After no more sign of her I turned back to Lorelai, "So, what are your plans for tonight?" I asked casually, walking around the counter and sitting in the only chair located behind it.

"Oh, um, well I was just thinking that maybe you could, you know help me find a hotel or an inn or even a B&B to stay in," She requested, slowly walking over in front of me and hopping herself up on the counter, setting her dangling feet on the armrest of my chair.

"Or," I said with a sigh, knowing that this was what she expected. "You could just stay with me. And Liz. And Jess." I added reluctantly.

"Why, Luke, I don't want to impose," She said, clearly meaning the opposite. "But if you insist, it would save me a lot of money." She said, smiling warmly.

There was a pause in the conversation and Lorelai began to slowly slip off the counter, sauntering over to my chair. "So," She began slowly, setting herself down on the arm of the chair.

"So," I echoed, doing my best to restrain myself from touching her or pulling her into my lap.

"Did you regret it?" She asked quietly, looking over at me in a somewhat helpless face. She was biting her lower lip and glancing at me nervously.

"The kiss?" I asked, looking for a clarification. She nodded silently, obviously seeming a little too anxious. "The one we just had?" I asked and again, she nodded silently. After sending her a sardonic look, I sighed. "You do know that I was the one that kissed you; therefore I should be the one asking you," I told her, listening to her deep breath release in relief.

"Right," She agreed, nodding hastily. There was an awkward silence in which I hoped she would fill, saying how she didn't regret it either. I gently nudged her lower back hoping to get a reaction out of her. "Oh, right," She said jumping back into reality. "I didn't regret it either, so far from regret. It was the total opposite of regret. I am content and I am satisfied," She said firmly.

"That's good," I said, grinning softly. I slowly slipped my arm around her waist and tugged on her until she fell back into my lap and kissed her again. Because this time, I was sure it would end good.

**

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Authors Note- So I didn't think it was that great and the old woman- she was pointless, I had no idea what to do with her so I left her in asking a stupid question. I already have the next chapter planned out and hope to have it up by Sunday.

Thanks for the amazing reviews in the last chapter- they made my world. I need just as much in for this chapter and also some comments if I left anything out. I need them though so make sure you review.

Only one episode remains and I am so loving the promo. Luke and Lorelai kissing! Finally! Though the downside is that we'll never see it happen again. This sucks. But I am living off repeats.


	17. Chapter 17

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view.(Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 17- Lorelai (August 28th 5:17 P.M)

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"So," Luke said, turning to me. "Are you ready to meet Liz?" He asked with a dreaded tone as he took a key out of his pocket, presumably to unlock the front door of his house. 

"Why are you making such a big deal about this?" I asked, slightly bemused at his anxiety. I gave him a small grin as I turned the doorknob to open the door, noticing the eerie creak that sounded a little creepy like it should be in a horror movie or Stephen King novel.

"Why do you make such a big deal about your parents?" He shot back, leading me through the front door with his warm hand placed on the small of my back.

Just as I was about to pull my jacket off, Luke, being the gentleman that he is, helped me. It was sweet, having someone care for you. "Thank you," I told him, smiling shyly. It was weird that just a simple gesture from the man in front of me could drive me crazy.

He looked a little confused and I nodded my head towards the coat rack. "Oh, that," She shrugged as if it were no big deal and placed his hand tenderly on the small of my back into the living room. As we drew closer, I noticed the loud sound of the Tv emitting through the halls of the house.

When we entered the living room, the sight before me was definitely not what I was expecting, though, to tell you the truth, I had no clue what I was expecting. Liz was spread out on the leather couch in a pair of pajama's, eating popcorn and drinking a bottle of beer with a leg slung over the top. "Liz," Luke stated loudly, clearing his throat in an annoyed fashion.

"Yeah?" She mumbled, distracted by some cartoon with a loud singing mouse on it.

"Liz," Luke shouted, startling her to get her attention. She shifted her legs under herself and leaned forward to grab the remote, not giving us any indication that she was listening.

"What bro?" She asked, exasperated, She quickly looked over at the two of us, then briefly turned back to the Tv before doing a double-take and looking back. "Luke!" She squealed. "You brought a girl home," She cried, smiling brightly.

"Liz, this is Lorelai," Luke said, trying to stop Liz from going on with her statement. He motioned to me with his free hand awkwardly as I smiled courteously, doing my best to maintain a good impression.

"We've met," I added helpfully, trying to erase the confused look off her face, but it only seemed to worsen. "Last time you were in Stars Hollow, the earrings?" I asked, desperately trying to get her to remember me.

"Oh!" She said, a sudden realization kicking in as she sat up into a more comfortable position, pointing a finger between me and Luke knowingly. "The earrings, right. Luke gave you the earrings," She stated, emphasizing her last sentence, though why she did, I have no clue.

"Yeah, yeah, the earrings, now see, you've met so we're going to go up-" Luke said, gesturing to the stairway, but was suddenly interrupted by Liz.

"I told you that you were his type, and now, here you are, with him," She stated dreamily, causing a brief flush to rise in my cheeks. "And how is Lori?" Liz asked me suddenly, the conversation change baffling me as she smiled, acting if she actually was interested. And who knows, maybe she was.

"Rory," I corrected, trying to do my best to stifle the laugh caused by the thought of Luke living with her.

"Who?" She asked, confusion replacing her interested look.

"My daughter, her name is Rory," I informed her, shooting Luke a forced smile that he returned, just as forced.

"That's what I said," Liz asked, completely unfazed by my correction.

"Right," I heard Luke grumble under his breath, obviously annoyed by his little sister.

Just as I was about to ask Luke to help me up to his room, the door just happen to open and Jess just happen to step in. "Jess!" Liz squealed energetically. God, if I didn't know any better, I'd think she was supposed to in an insane asylum, not here, being watched over because of her health issues.

"Hey," Jess mumbled, not noticing the beautiful replica of his former love standing in the living room that just happened to be me.

"Guess what?" She called into the foyer, where I assumed he was taking off his coat and shoes. When he didn't reply, Liz continued on as if he had. "Luke brought a girl home with him," She gushed excitedly. "And she's really pretty," She added, making me bite my lip in discomfiture.

"God, it's like high school all over again," Luke whispered into my ear, sounding annoyed, causing me to laugh as I pictured Luke bringing a girl home to meet Liz.

"Well at least there's no mid-terms," I added, trying to lighten the conversation. He scowled back at me and I playfully attached both my arms to his right elbow.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I heard him grumble from the hall, his footfalls treading softly, echoing slightly. He appeared at the doorway, stopping short when he noticed me. "Lorelai," He stated, surprised. He kept still under the frame of the door, shifting from one foot to the other awkwardly.

"You know each other?" Liz asked from the couch, mildly paying attention to the conversation in progress as she glanced from the three of us to the Tv occasionally.

"He dated my daughter," I explained, trying to sound as callous as possible. I shifted my gaze around the room, noticing the odd and out of place objects placed around the room, like a freaky looking clown lamp for instance. I finally settled my gaze upon Luke, silently begging him to take me upstairs.

"You broke Lori's heart, too, didn't you?" Liz assumed, still not replacing the correct name of my daughter. She sighed sadly, shaking her head in disappointment. "Why do you have to be so much like your father? Always going around and breaking hearts,"

"He didn't," I interrupted, desperately trying to get out of this conversation. "It just- didn't work out, they parted mutually," I lied, trying to sound sure of myself.

There was an awkward silence between the three of us- Liz was back to watching Tv. "Why don't we go put your bag upstairs?" Luke suggested, noticing my not so subtle glanced towards the stairway.

"Oh, that'd be great," I smiled, trying not to seem to eager as I took hold of Luke's flannel-less elbow to lead him towards stairs, delicately sliding my hand into hers. I waved goodbye politely to Jess, deciding it was best not to interrupt Liz's show.

As we made our way up the stairs, hands still clasped together, I heard Jess call after us in a mocking tone, telling us not to be too loud or we'd be corrupting a minor, causing Luke to blush profusely and me to do my best not to laugh.

---------------

I sat down on the queen sized bed Luke had claimed as his own and took my time to look around the room. The walls were painted a deep shade of burgundy, seeming very Luke-ish. There was a dresser, a closet barely opened and a door the most likely led to the bathroom.

I noticed the two wooden bedside tables placed on either side of me back toward the headboard. The table set to the right had a lamp and a short book with a piece of paper sticking out, most likely serving as a bookmark and the other to the left held Luke's watch, keys, cell phone, and a regular house phone with a picture leaning up against it. "What's this?" I asked, smiling, holding up the square paper.

"Just a reminder," He said, acting a bit bashful. Luke? Bashful? That sounds strange, even in my mind. Coy, sounds a bit more masculine.

"You kept a picture of me, you, and my daughter on the table beside your bed?" I confirmed, shaking my head with a disbelieving smile, obviously touched.

His shy smile was replaced by a solemn, serious look. He slowly walked from the dresser he was leaning against and made his way to the bed, sitting down and gently cupping his warm hands around mine.

I had to admit, the look he was sending me was worrying me. But I also had to admit, that crazy and irrational look Sookie mentioned to me about two and a half years ago was there in his deep blue eyes that seemed to be looking into my soul. "Luke?" I questioned in a quiet, timid voice, cocking my head to the side.

He took a deep breath, letting it drift out with his powerful words. "Lorelai, this thing we're doing here- me and you- I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in. I know we'll probably start out slow, with the long distance thing, but I want us to work," His smooth, large hands caressing mine as he allowed the words to sink in.

I tried my best not to seem intimidated by his words, to be strong, but I was terrified by the meaning behind his words. I wanted this to work what I thought was just as much as he did but now, sitting here with him, there are so many ways I could screw this up. But- he could be The One.

He gently released his hands from mine and placed it timidly on my forearm, whispering his words softly as his hand glided up and down my arm. "Does that, uh, scare you?"

I released a breath that I wasn't aware I was holding and hesitantly turned my head from its face down position to look at him. I slowly allowed my eyes to slide along the features of his face- his day old stubble, his pointed nose, strong jaw, and the small curls sticking out behind the blue hat I had gotten him years ago.

My eyes drifted to meet his and that loving and reassuring look was still there, causing an involuntary shiver to run down my spine. "Terrified," I admitted ruefully. "But it's a good kind of terrified. I want this- us- to work out, too." I watched as his face relaxed, his relief evident in the small smile tugging at his lips.

Just the fact that this man sitting beside me implied that he wanted to be with me forever, even after knowing all my crazy quirks and secrets and the things that scare me the most- like losing Rory and disappointing my parents- made my heart rate increase rapidly. I slowly leaned forward to capture my lips with his, slowly moving my arms around his upper-torso and his hands to bury into my hair.

Before the kiss could get too heated though, I leant back slightly, still close enough to feel his warm, hurried breath on my tingling lips. While my breath was matching the rapid beat of my heart, I wasn't focusing on that. The three words I breathed out, sounded barely audible in my low, husky voice. "I'm all in,"

**

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Authors Note- I can't even begin to rant about the finale. Let's just say that horrible would be an understatement for the last episode of an entire show.

I know it was short but I wanted to end there, sorry it's been so long, I've been really busy lately and I left my notebook with a lot of the story written out in it at school the past two days but next week I have testing so that means no homework and more writing. The more reviews I get, the sooner I'll write.

I have an idea and I need you opinions- either I keep doing the Luke Lorelai POV every other chapter thing or I could do mostly Lorelai POV and Luke POV on occasion. Tell me what you think- I need some input before I begin to write.


	18. Chapter 18

Title- Here Without You

Pairings- Luke and Lorelai (JavaJunkie all the way)

Set in the fourth season, after 'Afterboom' and before 'Luke can see her face'

Summary- Liz has cancer and she and TJ broke up. Who will be her savoir? And how will Lorelai react? It will start out a story then turn into a series of letters and each chapter will be in a different person's point of view. (Luke and Lorelai have been friends for 11 years.)

Disclaimer- If I owned it, there wouldn't even be an April or Christopher.

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Chapter 18- Lorelai (August 28th 7:12 P.M)

* * *

After a well made dinner by Luke- seriously, who knew he could make food other than what's served in the diner? But after the dinner and the awkward small-talk at the table, Luke and I resigned up into his bedroom immediately because I honestly didn't want to waste any of my limited Luke-time. 

"So what is there to do in this town?" I curiously wondered, sprawling myself across Luke's amazingly comfortable queen sized bed, which I noted has extremely soft and fluffy pillows.

He sighed then shrugged, sitting down beside me, obviously clueless. I mean, the guys been in this state for how long and he seems to know nothing about it. "Nothing much," he admitted after a long pause. "Why, you want to do something?"

I simply explained that it would be nice to maybe go out and have a type of real date. "If, that's where we are in this relationship." I added quickly. "I mean, if we are in a relationship. You did say that you were all in and I did too so that implies relationship, right? But even if we're not we could just go out for the hell of it or-"

"Lorelai," he interrupted, ceasing my pointless ramblings. I paused and looked up at him, timid and unsure. "We're in a relationship." he confirmed, grinning slightly to which I returned with narrowed eyes. "And, not that there's much to do out here, I may have some sort of an idea."

Looking intrigued, I moved to sit up against the headboard- and the fluffy pillows, I mean, I'm seriously considering stealing one of these babies's. "And what so happens to be this idea?" I asked, a smile tugging at my lips as I pulled him closer, trying to get him on top of me for some serious overdue necking.

Pecking my lips quickly, he pulled back, much to my disappointment as I let out a small whimper of dissatisfaction. "Change into something warm." he instructed softly, inches from my face, leaving me befuddled.

I pouted, praying he was taking me somewhere sensible. "Will this have to do with anything nature-concerned? Because it's late and I don't want to go on a hike." I complained, the disgust evident in my tone as I wrinkled my nose in distaste. I mean, who the hell would ever consider even going hiking when you can get exercise in a more _fun_ way?

"Trust me; you won't be going on a hike." Giving me one last, unsatisfying peck, he pulled back, running a hand softly down my cheek sending sparks throughout my entire body. "Get dressed. Make sure it's comfortable, too. I'm going to go get some things downstairs and put them in the truck then I'll meet you back up here."

"Aren't you getting changed?" I asked confusedly as he made my way to the bedroom door.

He turned back. "Nah, I'm fine the way I am. And you might want to bring a pillow." he added, outwardly smirking at my perplexed and worried look. Pillows- good. Bringing a pillow to a place where I need to dress warm- not so good.

As he made his way down the stairs, the smug smile probably still plastered to his face, I called after him in a worried tone, "We aren't going camping, are we?" Receiving no answer, I suddenly began to regret my idea to go out on some type of date.

Changing into the sweatpants I had luckily brought and throwing a Yale sweatshirt over my head, I quickly grabbed three of the six pillows on the bed. One for him, two for me, of course. Throughout the entire time I had repeatedly been assuring myself internally that Luke knows me better than to take me into the great outdoors as a first date. Because he seriously isn't that stupid. After that I quickly reapplied my mascara and lipstick before quickly shutting off the light and making my way down the stairs.

The first thing I spotted while searching for Luke was Jess, sitting alone on the couch watching TV. Looking around I conceded that Luke was no where in sight so I had to either wait in the foyer for Luke where Jess couldn't see me or risk the chances of having to make small talk with the boy who had begged my daughter to ditch the life she had built and run away with him. Though I'm not sure of that's worse than sleeping with your married ex-boyfriend.

After three and a half minutes of no Luke, I reluctantly stepped into the living room. "Hey Jess?"

He grunted. Seriously, after only spending about a year with his uncle they've certainly picked up one another's traits.

"Have you seen Luke?"

"Yeah,"

Silence. God, I can't even begin to comprehend what Rory saw in this kid.

I rolled my eyes and subtly began to tap my foot impatiently. "Well do you know where he is?"

"You don't have to snap at me." he said, feigning shock. "And if you were looking for Luke you could have just asked."

"Then where is he?" I asked expectantly.

Muting the TV, he looked over at me skeptically. "I don't know, I'm not his parole officer."

"Listen Jess," I began sternly, so not in the mood for him to interrupt my limited Luke-time. "I'm not here to rag on you about what you said to Rory-"

He held his hands up in mock-surrender. "For the record, I did not bring up Rory."

I glared at him fiercely.

"I'm over Rory."

I scoffed. "Right. C'mon Jess, just give it a rest, it seems like each time you come back to Stars Hollow you just mess with her head and confuse her even more. You just don't stop. You have to get over the fact that what you two had is over. It was over the moment you left for California."

He shook his head slowly. Damn I wish he wasn't Luke's nephew. I'd kill him. "I know that and I said that I'm over Rory. I've moved on,"

"You moved on?" I asked doubtfully.

He cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, I have, so you should to."

Just as I was about to retort, Luke came in out of no where, placing a hand on my shoulder and nearly scaring the shit out of me. "You ready to go?" he asked, probably noticing the built up tension between his girlfriend and nephew.

Glaring at Jess for one last second, I quickly changed into happy-girlfriend mode and turned to him. "Yeah, um, I left the pillows by the door. I'll wait for you outside." I promised, somewhat awkwardly, not even bothering to bid Jess a goodbye as I made my way out to sit on the front steps, briefly overhearing Jess make some sexual innuendo about the pillows and being outside.

After some minutes later, the sound of heavy footfalls became louder and louder and soon enough Luke was by my side with a handful of blankets and a blue little mini-cooler. "Are we gonna sleep outside?" I asked skeptically, breaking the silence.

He shook his head with a small grin present on his lips. "Listen," he began, and already I knew I'd be getting and earful about Jess. "I know you don't like Jess-"

"Of course I don't like him!" He gave me a seriously threatening look.

He sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "The kid's screwed up, he grew up with a screwed up life, and before you say you know what its like- you don't. You didn't experience it like him. Growing up, Jess, well, he never really had an adult around- ever. He never had a role model. I wasn't around much 'cause I was just starting to open the diner and his dad left before he could even walk and his mother was seriously messed up, always bringing a new guy home every night, drinking and I wouldn't be surprised if he admitted to be abused at lease once. He had no one around and basically had to raise himself. I know you hate him for what he did to Rory- I'm not exactly his number one fan in that particular category but still- he's family and I believe he's on the right track. He's even got a new girlfriend that he's proved to really care about. He's grown up." And with a simple shrug, he ended his ode to Jess.

I understood, I didn't want him to think I didn't. It's just the fact that he hurt my little girl- many times- and I can't get passed that. I nodded slowly; the fact that if Luke and I ever did go further with this relationship Jess would be my nephew immediately brought me out of my thoughts. Then I reprimanded myself for thinking like that because it's wrong and way too early to do that. We hadn't even been on a first date yet. "I don't think I remember you ever saying that much in the eleven years I've known you." I stated, unsure what else to say given the fact I was thinking about Luke, me and a life commitment.

"Well," He patted my thigh affectionately, moving to get up. "Don't get used to it."

Holding out my left hand, he helped me up, guiding me over to his truck. "So exactly where are you taking me?" I asked as he threw the cooler and blankets into the back of his truck.

"You'll see,"

"I hope you know that I'm not exactly a fan of sleeping under the stars. With bugs. And dirt. I'm not that big of a fan of dirt."

He smiled cockily. "Maybe we are," he taunted.

I mock-gasped, pointing a finger accusingly at him. "You're gonna kill me!" I exclaimed. "You're gonna take me out in the woods, use the knives and guns and sharp things that you _hid _in the cooler to kill me and then you'll throw the blankets over my body to make sure no one sees me once your done."

He rolled his eyes, motioning me over to the passenger side of the truck. "Yes, that's exactly it."

Opening the door for me, a very chivalrous act if you ask me, he lightly helped me in as I set the pillows beside me. "So if you're not making me sleep outside and you're not killing me, then where the hell are we going?"

"I never shot down the possibility of sleeping outside. I just said maybe." he reminded me, getting in and starting the engine and pulling out of the driveway.

"I hate camping."

"I know."

"But I'm serious, Luke," I went on, still skeptic about sleeping outside. "Camping is not my thing. There are bugs and its cold and did I mention the dirt. Because I've had many bad experiences with dirt that I really don't want to be reminded of. And plus, you didn't even bring a tent. What if it rained, or snowed. Its cold up here so there has to be the chances of snow. And even though I've told you before that good things happen when it snows, I don't want to be proved wrong. Seriously, even if I end up getting something tonight, it won't even be worth it if we're on the ground in the woods." I finished with a smile, quickly looking over to catch Luke's wide-eyed, flushed look.

"Jeez, Lorelai." He looked over at me briefly, shaking his head in obvious annoyance.

I smiled wickedly, moving closer to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Now Luke," I began soothingly. "I'm not saying that we can't have sex-"

"God!" he admonished as I teasingly ran a finger up and down his cheek. "Could you be anymore blunt? And stop that," He swatted my hand off his face. "I'd prefer not to die in a car crash today because my girlfriend can't keep her hands to herself."

I stopped immediately and dropped a kiss on his cheek and loosely wrapped my arms around his torso, my bright smile only oblivious to a blind person.

He was confused. "What was that for?"

I looked down bashfully, burying my nose into his soft flannel. "You called me your girlfriend." I told him shyly, my words muffled against his shirt.

"Well, you are, aren't you?" he asked, a small grin playing at his lips as he draped his arm over my shoulder, holding me tight.

"It just..." I sighed dreamily, leaning into his warm embrace. "It has a really nice ring to it, I guess." I said honestly, shrugging.

"Yeah," he agreed, the small grin widening a fraction of an inch. "It does."

* * *

"A drive-in." I repeated for the umpteenth time, the excitement evident in my tone as I hugged his arm tightly to myself.

He nodded his head, obviously annoyed by my enthusiasm. "I know, I brought you here."

Walking to the snack-stand, I buried my head in the crook of his arm. "But how did you know?" I seriously like to believe that I've just found the perfect man. I mean, how often does a guy take someone out on a first date to see a showing of a classic movie like _His Girl Friday _at a drive-in?

"I've driven by here from time to time, the sign says the movies start at eight-thirty, I didn't know what movie was playing exactly but they usually show the classics and you wanted to do something. God only knows when the next time is we'll be able to get together so I thought this is something you might enjoy." he said, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal.

"You're a romantic," I teased.

"No I'm not. Call me that again and I'm going home and leaving you here." he threatened. I frowned. "What do you want to eat?"

"Now you're offering to buy me food that'll rot my insides? What happened to the Luke I know?"

He rolled his eyes. "I just know that if I don't get you anything to eat, you won't shut up the entire movie."

"Ah, but see, this time I have better things to do like make out with my extremely sexy boyfriend in the back of his truck. But we should get red vines, just incase. And popcorn. And snowcaps, I haven't had snowcaps in awhile."

"So will I be buying anything that won't lead you to an early death?" he asked, the pod-Luke disappearing as he grimaced.

"We could get raisinets, they have raisins in them- those are healthy, right?"

"Not when they're covered in chocolate, no."

"Then give me your money and go grab me soda." I instructed, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet.

He snatched it back defensively, causing me to give him a skeptic glance as he took out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to me. "Firstly, don't spend it all on pointless junk food-"

"Okay, grandpa." I interjected, crossing my arms over my chest and giving him a bored, eye roll.

He glared. "Secondly, don't go in my wallet. And thirdly, I've got a couple beers in the truck, they don't usually allow alcohol here, but what they don't know won't hurt 'em."

Going right past the wallet-thing (we could get back to that later); I flashed him a teasing smile. "You know, Luke, you don't need me to be drunk if you want me to sleep with you."

He face turned bright red. "Why the hell are you so sex-obsessed?" he asked quietly in a tone that was clearly embarrassed as he glanced around nervously for any on-lookers.

"I'm not sex-obsessed," I defended with a casual tone. "But is it wrong for me to want to spend some intimate time with my boyfriend whom I've all but slept with in the last eleven years? I think I've earned the right to be just a little sexually frustrated."

His faced softened a bit, but not enough for a regular bystander to notice. "Go get your food." he ordered light, giving me a small push over to the concession stand.

* * *

About halfway into the movie, the both of is were cuddled up against each other in the back of his truck, me eating the red vines and him occasionally eating the popcorn I force-fed him. "This is nice," I stated softly, my hands currently playing with his.

"It's pointless, if the guy didn't want her to get married to another guy, why'd they get divorced in the first place? And then why did she even tell him she was getting married to another guy? It's like she wanted him to stop her from marrying him."

"Luke?" I whispered softly, the smile on my face evident in my tone. It was funny how just by ranting about a film form the '40's that this guy could turn me on.

"Yeah?" he asked, not even bothering to look down at me.

I took his chin in my hand, forcing him to look down at me. "Thanks for taking me here." I said, brushing my lips against his.

His immediate reaction was evident as his lips softened alongside mine, bringing his arm up and held it at the base of my neck, gently massaging it. I stifled a moan while I pulled him down against the pillows so we weren't up against the back windshield where everyone could see us. Trailing my lips across his cheek and over to his ear, I breathed heavily before taking his earlobe into my mouth, sucking and biting at it gently.

He tugged on me until I was fully on top of him, his hands tenderly traveling underneath my thin sweatshirt, bringing me warmth throughout my entire body, mainly a certain point between my legs. His hands moved from my back to my stomach where they slowly treaded closely to uncharted territory. The movement stilled though his lips were still doing incredible work against my neck. I encouragingly began to undo each button of his flannel I could reach frantically, desperate for the skin on skin contact I'd been deprived eleven years of.

Before I knew it, his hands were stopping mine and his lips were no longer against my skin. I looked up at him with a confused look, taking comfort in the rise and fall of his chest below me as I tried to reattach our lips. One of his hands dropped from mine and held my face inches from his as I tried to lean in closer. "Why'd you stop?" I whined quietly, my breath coming out in short, rapid puffs as I shut my eyes tiredly.

"We can't do this here."

"Why not?"

"We're in the back of my truck at a drive-in. We're not teenagers; people could see us or, you know, hear us." He was gesturing around us, obviously flustered as my face fell and a deep sigh escaped from the back of my throat.

Groaning, I laid my head on his chest and loosely wrapped my arms around his torso. "You know, I don't usually come off this easy." I mumbled, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the jumbo-sized bucket to my left and shoving it dejectedly into my mouth.

He sympathetically patted my back, the amusement evident in his tone. "I know."

"So we'll watch the rest of the movie then go back to your house?" I asked in defeat.

He sighed. "Yeah,"

"And once we get back," I began, looking up at him with a suggestive look. "Maybe we could continue with what we left off?" I asked hopefully.

"No," he said defiantly, shaking his head with force. My hope was crushed and my face fell. "There is no way I am having sex with my sister in the same house." He paused. "And plus, Jess's room is right by mine, I don't want him knowing what we're doing, I'd never be able to look him in the eye again."

"Are you serious?" I asked skeptically. "Luke," I whined, repeatedly dropping my head against his chest. "Who knows when we'll have the next chance for this?"

"Well," he began uncertainly. "It is only the first date, we could take it slow." he suggested hesitantly.

"Slow?" I exclaimed in a hushed tone. "We've known each other for eleven years; you live in another state." He gave me an apologetic look. "I just, I want you so badly." I pouted, burying my face in the crook of his neck and breathing in his scent.

He rubbed my back slowly, kissing my forehead. "Don't think I don't want you either."

"Well, that's a little obvious," I said, gently patting the bulge in his pants, causing his to blush and swat my hand away.

"Just watch the movie." he ordered, tightening his arms around me.

* * *

When we finally got back home, it was already a little past eleven and the house was silent, surprising me. "Where is everyone?" I asked quietly as we slipped off out shoes and we hung up our coats.

"Liz has been going to bed early lately and Jess has to work an early shift at the store tomorrow." he explained, placing his hand on the small of my back and leading my upstairs. "Why don't you get dressed in the bathroom, it's down the hall and the second door to the right."

Stripping out of my sweatshirt, I tossed it carelessly in the corner. "I'm fine."

He walked over to the dresser, taking out sweatpants and a t-shirt. "Then I'll be right back."

I lay down on the bed, moving to get comfortable under the blankets and against the pillows. "And I'll be here."

He nodded and slipped out the door. When he was gone, I buried myself into the pillows, all smelling amazingly like Luke- another reason for me to take one home with me. The thought of going home unsettled my stomach- again, after an amazing night; we'd be leaving each other. I hated it. It wasn't fair; finally we were starting something- why couldn't we have started something nine or ten years ago? Before I had the chance to get myself worked up, the door reopened and Luke stepped in, wearing an olive-green t-shirt that accentuated his well-defined body. "So what time do you have to leave tomorrow?" he asked, sliding into bed beside me.

"I don't probably have to leave until two-ish." I said, expertly hiding the sadness in my tone. He nodded slowly. "How is this going to work, Luke?" I asked, my insecurities showing.

He shrugged uncomfortably and sighed. "I don't know. All I know is that I will do my best to make this work. We'll still talk on the phone like we do now, but, I don't know, if I ever get the time, I'll come and visit you."

"And I'll visit you." I added contentedly.

He shook his head in disagreement, causing my face to fall instantly. "No."

"You can visit me but I can't visit you? Luke, I'll miss you."

"You've got a new business to worry about." he reminded me. "You need to focus on that."

I frowned, reality making its way back into my life. "I know," I admitted reluctantly.

He smiled, brushing a lock of hair out of my face. "Let's get to sleep." he suggested wearily, giving me a quick kiss on the lips before rolling over and flipping the switch on the light, darkness falling over the both of us.

"Night Luke,"

"Night." he mumbled, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me to him.

After some moments of silence, I whispered, "Luke?" while softly stroking his stubbly jaw and cheek, memorizing the outline of his features.

He grumbled something incoherently and instinctively pulled me closer, burying his nose in my hair.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself. "I love you."

* * *

I am an ass. See I've been busy lately helping out a friend- her penname is 'The Mrs. Ventimiglia'- she's got great and must read and review fics. Anyhow, I completely forgot until I was lying in bed going through some old files. And then by the end of this sucky chapter(I seriously didn't even consider the time Dopey brought Lorelai out on a in 7x04 so don't hate me) I realized it was supposed to be Luke's POV but I didn't want to go back and change it so all you must suffer!!! I was in a Jess-mood today because I was reading some Jess-centered fics and I felt bad for him. And I think it's obvious I have yet to see _His Girl Friday_, I just know it was a movie Lorelai mentioned before.

Currently listening to- Evil by Interpol and One Line by PJ Harvey

I'm not that sure where to bring this, though. Any ideas? I know I'll have Luke's reaction but I was also thinking a phone call between Luke and Rory. And Lorelai might just find out why Luke was so defensive of his wallet. Though we all know why.


End file.
